Transformation \\ Tuomas Holopainen // COMPLETED \\

Disclaimer:

I don't know or own any member of the band, their family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances, or anyone else they may know or have ever dealt with. I make no profit from this. I don't own Finland, or any other place mentioned in this fic. This is a work of pure fiction and there is no truth, to the best of my knowledge, in anything contained in this fic. It is purely a work of imagination and adoration and is intended to be read as such.

Kizi, her life, experiences, thoughts, ideas are solely of my own imagination. If anything like this has ever happened I assure you it is purely coincidental. Timeline may not be perfectly accurate, personalities may not be perfectly accurate. That is why it's called FICTION. This fic is Rated X for language, sexual encounters, implied sexual abuse, and implied drug use. Enjoy!

** KIZI'S POV **

$Transformation \\ Tuomas Holopainen // COMPLETED \\ 187feade$

My college experience wasn't like most. I Loved school and devoted my time to my school work and the extra curricular activities that would be best on my resume. My dream job was working with an awesome band for all their multi-media needs. Whenever my professors held extra classes, tutoring sessions, or seminars, I always took them. I didn't have a social life, didn't have any friends, and didn't really have a home life.

My life is a sad tale of abuse, drugs, and solitude. The only thing that helped me through it was him. All my foster parents said he was either just an imaginary friend or I was crazy. But I know I'm not crazy. I can also see auras as well as having visions of future events. But the one constant in my life has always been him.

One day I was called into the Dean's office for a special meeting. I wasn't sure what this meeting was about but it made me nervous. This was not something that happened to me often. The Dean wasn't quite ready for me so I sat in the cold feeling office with my heart beginning to pound. The familiar feelings of a panic attack began kicking in so I started doing some breathing exercises to try and calm myself down.

After what felt like eternity I was finally called into the Dean's office. The carpeting was a light tan color. All the furniture was a dark cherry oak. His chair was probably genuine leather while the guest seating was a black cloth. Upon seeing me he gave me a broad smile. That simple gesture eased some of my tension.

"Good morning Miss Baker. I've been reviewing your academic record." He stated

"Is something wrong?" I questioned, immediately worried

"No, no. You are going to be a foreign exchange student. We have several students who are going but only 2 of you will be given a special project." The Dean told me

"Special Project? What do you mean?" I questioned

"While you're over in Finland you will be meeting with a member of Roadrunner records and one from Nuclear Blast records about working with one of their bands. You will receive full credit for your work with this band." He clarified

"So I'm relocating to Finland to work for a band? Where will I live? How will I talk to natives, what about money?" I asked, excited and fearful all at the same time

"Everything will be worked out when you get there. Now you need to go pack. This envelope has your passport, plane tickets and a little money for your travels." The Dean told me, beaming

"Thank you very much Sir!" I replied, taking the envelope

"Oh! Miss Baker, you're plane leaves tomorrow morning at 8am. There will be an airport shuttle to take all the students to the airport which will leave at 5:15am. The schedule is in the envelope. Good luck Miss Baker." The Dean told me as I was about to exit his office

When I returned to my dorm room I opened the envelope. The schedule said that the flight was leaving at 8am and would be arriving at the JFK airport where I'd have a 5 hour & 25 minute layover. From JFK I'd be flying in to Helsinki where I'd arrive the next morning. All in all the trip will take approximately 17 hours. It was going to be an extremely long day! I had to pack most of my clothes as well as my laptop, zune, and the associated accessories that went with each.

I didn't know anything about Finland, the culture, weather, food, or this band I'm going to essentially be working for. Guess I'll get a crash course tomorrow. Err, really the day after tomorrow. Having all my clothes packed, as well as everything else that I needed, I made sure to set my alarm.

I was walking along in an ankle-length white halter-style dress. The emerald green grass felt like velvet underneath my feet. There was a soft breeze blowing and it felt good. It wasn't too hot or too cold but the breeze still felt good to my skin. I had emerged from the forest but now found myself walking a small dirt path to a cliff over looking the ocean. It was so calming and serene being here.

My alarm startled me and I fell out of bed. I got a quick shower and dressed. I opted to leave any make up until I get to Finland. I left my long hair down and just took some hair ties with me in case I needed them. I had on some very holy jeans, not to look cool or anything but because that's all I could afford, a black tank top and some combats that were almost a size too big. Today was the beginning of a life I never could have dreamed of.

** KIZI'S POV **

$Transformation \\ Tuomas Holopainen // COMPLETED \\ 187feade$

The flight was excruciatingly long. I'd never flown that sort of distance before and was feeling kind of weird when I departed the plane in Helsinki. I looked around the terminal to see if anyone was looking for me but I didn't see anyone. I began to feel very anxious that I was completely alone in this city because the people who were supposed to pick me up had forgotten about me.

I had to ask one of security people where the baggage claim and bathrooms were. Thank goodness they spoke English! Most of the signs and stuff were all in the native language and I had no clue what the hell they said. I slipped into the first bathroom for women I came to so that I could do my make up. Surely I needed a translation book to help with getting around! One of the little shops had a nice book so I bought it before trying to find where the security guy told me the baggage claim was.

When I finally found what I was looking for there were 2 men holding up signs that had my name on it. I guess they were the record people the Dean told me about. They greeted me cordially as I waited for my bags to come through. They explained to me that whatever projects that were media-related was my job to handle. I would be paid every 2 weeks for my work and the school was giving me a weekly check for food, clothing, and toiletries.

When the band was not on tour, say for holidays or simple breaks in the schedule, I would be staying with the band leader Tuomas. That made me nervous especially not knowing how much English they spoke. They told me that as soon as we made it to the hotel that my bags would be brought upn to the room I was sharing with their vocalist. I would be escorted to a meeting room where I'll meet the band. Apparently right now their looking over my school portfolio and checking out some of my projects to see what all I can do.

The drive to the hotel was relatively quiet, with the 2 men telling me little tidbits as they remembered them. They told me that until we left for the tour we were staying at the Hotel Haven, a 5 star hotel all of Finland's best musicians/bands stayed at while in town. My nerves were acting up again because I was incredibly nervous about meeting this band. What if they didn't like me?

"Miss Baker, we've arrived at the hotel." The clearly American record person stated

I grabbed the 2 bags I would not let anyone touch and followed the older gentlemen into the posh hotel. They walked me to the front desk so I could pick up my room key before heading to the conference room. My heart was pounding in my chest as we walked into this large room where 4 men and 1 woman was looking at a screen on the wall where one of projects was playing.

"Hän on hyvin luova." One blond man said
<TRANSLATION: She's very creative.>

"Hänen työnsä on hyvin asiantuntevaa." Another blond stated
<TRANSLATION: Her work is very professional.>

"Can I have everyone's attention?" The man that wasn't American stated with a thick accent.

"Aki! Emme ajatelleet, että olisit takaisin niin pian! Onko tämä hän?" This very tall, dark headed man who looked like Cap'n Jack Sparrow said as he stood up
<TRANSLATION: We didn't think you'd be back so soon! Is this her?>

"Please, English for those of us who don't speak Finnish." My American 'friend' requested, smiling

"Good morning!" The tall, dark headed man said, giving me a soft smile

I simply nodded, feeling very uncomfortable and extremely vulnerable. One by one the record people introduced me to the members of the band. Anette was going to be my roommate at the hotels and such. She seemed friendly enough. We sat down so the record people could go over my role with everyone so that we were all on the same page. We went over my contract which I had to sign in front of the band. When we were all done, the record people left me alone with these strangers.

Let me be honest, I've never been good in social situations. This was definitely no exception. They all stared at me as I looked any where but at them.

** KIZI'S POV **

$Transformation \\ Tuomas Holopainen // COMPLETED \\ 187feade$

After a while of the band talking to the record people, I was asked if I wanted to go take a nap before dinner. I nodded my head yes so they told me to be downstairs at 7pm for dinner. Before I left the room I was told what I was wearing would be fine because we were going out to some bar. I nodded my head again and took my bags up to the room.

Everything seemed so weird to me. I was certain I wasn't going to fit in. Once I made it to my room, I cautiously opened the door. My roommte had been here longer than I so I felt like I was walking into a space that wasn't mine. When I opened the door, I found clothes, clothes bags, shoes, shoe bags, and garment bags absolutely everywhere. It seemed like the only space that didn't have clothes on it was the bed I'd be sleeping on. This is going to be harder than I thought!

I set my bags down on the side of the bed that was close to the balcony and laid down. I'll be here for at least 2 years. Will I be able to make it in this foreign country with total strangers speaking a language I don't understand? Will I be able to handle their lifestyle? So many questions, so many uncertainties. When did I become so tired?

The annoying sound of my phone's alarm woke me from my strange dream. Sitting up in bed, I groggily rubbed the sleep from eyes and let my brain turn on again. I could feel eyes on me so I turned my head. Anette was talking on her phone in language I didn't understand was staring at me. I gave her a weak smile before heading into the bathroom to do my business.

When I came out she was nowhere to be seen. Taking a deep breath, I grabbed my phone, room key, and laptop case. Guess there's no better time to stand around the lobby of the hotel to await the band than now. There was no one in the hall way or anyone waiting for the elevator. I made my way downstairs in silence. Much to my suprise the tall, dark headed man was already down their waiting.

"Hello." He cordially stated, giving me a warm smile

"Um, hi." I lamely replied, looking away from him

"I don't think they told us your name." He said with a Finnish accent

"OH! Um, I'm Kizi." I stated

"That's an unusual name." He replied

I blushed for some unknown reason. Thankfully before I needed to reply one of the blonds came downstairs and engaged him in conversation. They chatted for a while before the others made their way downstairs. Anette seemed kind of cold towards me but that treatment was nothing new. Once we were all ready their manager, whom I recently learned was named Ewo, ushered us out to an awaiting limo. Apparently we were heading to one of their favorite bars to relax and have a little fun before we hit the road the following afternoon.

I was situated between the manager and Anette. The dark headed man, who now I remembered was called Tuomas, and one of the blond were sitting across from me and staring. I kept my eyes on my hand which were folded on my lap while everyone chatted about drinks, dinner, and what band might be playing tonight. I, of course, stayed deathly silent. Before long we'd arrived at our designated destination and we all piled out. The taller blond, Marco if I remembered his name right, found us a large table.

The menus we were handed were all in Finnish. I looked it over and earned myself a chuckle from the tall dark headed man. Blushing seemed to amuse him more.

"Marco, ask the waitress for a menu in English, please." Tuomas sweetly asked making Anette roll her eyes

The menu was quickly brought to me and I mumbled my thanks. I was feeling like I wasn't wanted and it made me extremely uncomfortable. Not knowing what was good, I opted to go the safe route with some beef and chicken Fajitas and some sweet tea. Tuomas smiled at me as I opted to stare at my glass.

"So Kizi, what kind of programs do you use?" Marco asked me, bringing the very uncomfortable silence to an end

"I'm proficient with Dreamweaver, Flash, After Effects, Photoshop, Fireworks, um let me think, uhhh, oh Illustrator, InDesign, and Premier." I replied

"Paska." Marco replied, smiling at me
<TRANSLATION: Holy shit>

I cocked my eyebrow at him which made him laugh softly. Anetted asked the small blond man to play pool with her. He accepted leaving me with the other 3. I sipped my tea and waited for my dinner to arrive. The three men talked in their native tongue. Before long the other brunette got up and went to play darts with some cute blond.

"So where are from in the states?" Marco asked me

"Dallas, Texas." I simply replied

"You're very quiet." Tuomas noted, turning his body towards me

"Um, I'm not very good in social situations." I stuttered before blushing madly

"We're not going to bite!" Marco chuckled softly

"You have no reason to be shy around us." Tuomas stated quietly

"I can't help it. I've never had many friends." I quietly confessed

"I have a hard time believing that!!" Tuoms chuckled

"I'm more geek than social butterfly. Always the kid everyone picked on and made fun of." I sadly but quietly stated, unable to look him in the eye

Thankfully our dinner arrived. I fixated on putting together my fajitas with him keeping a close on me and what I was doing. He made me very nervous. Everyone else eventually made it back to the table to have their dinner. I at slowly so that I wouldn't be the first one done and have nothing to do. Once Anette and Jukka were done, they went to play pool. Ewo stayed at our table while Emppu went to who-knows-where.

** KIZI'S POV **

$Transformation \\ Tuomas Holopainen // COMPLETED \\ 187feade$

While we were sitting around, with them all nursing beers, Marco began asking me all sorts of questions about the programs I use, what they're for, what I can do, what I'm not so good at, as well as what they were looking for in multimedia. I had a project that I thought they might like to see so I pulled it up through a flash drive and let the 3 men watch the 5-minute video.

"That was awesome!" Marco exclaimed, smiling brightly at me

I blushed at the comment.

"Do you have any more projects you can show us?" Tuomas asked

"Of course!" I replied, suddenly relieved that they seemed to like the things I've done

As the latest little project was coming to an end, some of the others made it back to the table. They got to talking about something in Finnish so I opted to work on one of my work-in-progress projects. Usually when I got into my work I seemed to drown out everything around me. This was no exception. Suddenly laughter from most of the people at my table brought me back to reality.

"Are you always this rude in the company of others?" Anette stated coldly

"Jukka, ota Anette pöydälle kulmassa miellyttää nopealle juttelulle. " Tuomas stated as I fought the tears that threatened to fall

[TRANSLATION: Jukka, take Anette to the table in the corner please for a quick chat.]

"Excuse me." I stated, getting up to go find the ladies room

I had to ask one of the waitresses who was kind enough to show me where it was. Quickly finding an empty stall, I shut and locked the door and tried to calm myself down. I never fit in any where no matter where I go. This was going to be the longest damn 2 years of my life. How am I supposed to do my job if they don't really like me? Taking a few deep breaths I went to splash some cold water on my face. A few minutes later I returned to an almost-empty table.

"Are you ok? I'm sorry about Anette. She's not normally this bitchy." Tuomas stated with a deep voice

"I'm fine." I stated, almost shuddering when my voice cracked

"No, you're not. Your aura is lightly orange. What are you worried about?" He quietly questioned, seemingly truly interested in me

"I'm good at what I do. When it comes to multimedia stuff I'm full of confidence and... but everything else........" I stuttered, feeling the shame of my past wash over me like a tidal wave

"Your aura is a darkish green. Your fearful, insecure and mistrusting. Why?" He questioned quietly

"Do we have to talk about this?" I pleaded, letting my eyes wander up to his lips but still avoiding his eyes

"We don't have to talk about anything you don't want to. I just want to get to know you. I'm empathetic so I feel others' emotions more than most." He told me quietly

After a few minutes of silence, and me getting a few quick glances at him to see his aura (I discovered his aura was a light green signaling a healing/nurturing/peaceful/sensitive/compassionate/reliable soul with healing ability) I decided to open up just a little. Besides, it probably wouldn't hurt to have someone I can go to to ask questions about touring and other stuff I'll need to know about this lifestyle.

"I've never really had friends. Moving from foster home to foster home never afforded me much time to learn how to make friends." I all but whispered

"Oh? I'm sorry to hear that." He gently urged, wanting me to go on

"Not able to make friends, I threw myself into my studies. I've always been an over-achiever in school. That's how I landed here." I stated, feeling even more uneasy around this man I hardly knew and being so open

"I can't imagine not having a stable home. Why did you go from foster home to foster home?" He questioned, getting even more personal

"I don't want to talk about that right now." I quickly, probably too quickly, stated, "But I've never had any real stability in my life."

"Our life is chaotic but we have some stability. We can depend on one another when things get tough. We have our homes and families to go home to when we need to separate ourselves from everything." He replied, voice low and soothing

"Meidän täytyy palata hotelli. Lähdemme 9 olen iskeä tietä. " Ewo stated as he approached our table

[TRANSLATION: We need to get back to the hotel. We're leaving at 9 am to hit the road.]

I looked at them funny until Tuomas informed me of what their manager had told him. Taking a deep breath I nodded. Jukka and Anette walked over with her giving me a nasty look as she did so. Letting out a sigh I followed everyone out to the limo after packing up my laptop. When we got back to the hotel, I headed straight to my room. Not knowing what Anette's plans were, I went to the bathroom to change for bed.

There I was, cowering in the corner of the living room where I still lived with my mother. She was not only drunk but high off of cocaine, meth, and acid. Whenever she mixed her poisons she always got mean. She was in one of her rages so I was trying to hide from her wrath.

Eventually she found me and threw my tiny body into the opposing wall, cussing me the entire time. I could feel bones breaking, although at my young age I didn't realize my bones were breaking. All I knew was that I was incredibly scared and in pain.

"Momma nooooooooooooooooo!!!!" I screamed

I shot straight up in bed, breath caught in my throat, sweat poring from my forehead, and my heart was racing. Once my brain kicked in, I knew I wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep. So I got up to take a hot shower and get ready for my day even though I still had several hours before the bus would arrive.

** KIZI'S POV **

$Transformation \\ Tuomas Holopainen // COMPLETED \\ 187feade$

For a bit of Tuomas-goodness Very Happy

$Transformation \\ Tuomas Holopainen // COMPLETED \\ 1209830748_f$

I stood at the entrance to the hotel and simply waited. My headphones were on and I was listening to Stone Sour while I awaited. The nightmare I'd had was still fresh in my mind. Of course thinking of my nightmares I always had to think of him. I had sat down outside with my bags to await the bus. Of course once on the bus I'd have to be shown where I would be sleeping and where I was allowed to go.

"What are you doing up so early?" I heard a deep voice ask

Looking up immediately I found Marco looking down at me very amused. I shrugged my shoulders not wanting to tell him the truth and afraid of lying to him. He laughed softly and pulled out his pack of cigarettes. Before long ever member of the band had come outside to await the bus. Anette was still being very cold towards but that wasn't anything I wasn't already used to from people.

A short while later this long black bus pulled up with darkly tinted windows. Marco gave me a warm smile and offered to help me get my bags to the bus so they could be placed with everyone else's. I quietly thanked him as I grabbed my "carry-on" bags. Jukka and Emppu had already boarded the bus. Anette pushed past me to sit on one of the couches next to Jukka while Tuomas gave me the "grand tour".

My bunk was on the very bottom on the right side of the bus. He showed me where I could store my bags until I needed them and then left me to "unpack". It didn't take me long as I only put my bags away and then quickly laid down in my bunk to try and get a little more sleep since I'd lost several hours to my nightmare.

"She kept me up half the night because she was screaming in her sleep! How am I supposed to work if she's keeping me up screaming all the time?" I heard Anette state angrily to some one

"Anette, this was her first night with us. She's never been out of the United States before. Give the poor girl a little slack. I'll give both you ladies your own rooms at the hotels from now on, ok?" Ewo stated, trying to keep their vocalist happy

"Fine." She relented

I sighed. This was going to be hell. I'm already causing problems and I haven't been with them 24 hours. My best bet is to just stay out of their way and only interact with them when it's absolutely necessary. At least then I can avoid causing problems like this. Maybe my foster parents were right, I'm a worthless waste of space! As I laid there thinking about things I began to feel like the walls were closing in, literally. Oh God, not now! Please!!!!

The feelings of my heart beginning to pound, the sweats coming on, the feeling of being not being able to breath like I was being smothered, I was starting to shake, and feeling dizzy. The immense anxiety of my situation was almost too much and I suddenly felt like I was dying. I had to climb out of my bunk, which was fun seeing as how I was shaking so badly, and find my bag to get to my medication.

"Kizi, are you ok?" I heard someone ask

I was crying and shaking worse than I was before. I shook my head no in response.

"What's wrong?" He asked, placing his hand on the small of my back as I finally found the bag I was looking for

He ushered me to the very back room. I was shaking so badly now that I couldn't open the bottle to get the pill out.

"Shhh, it's ok. How many do you need?" He asked, taking the bottle from me and quickly opening it

I raised one finger. He handed me the pill then the soda I didn't know he had to take it with. I grabbed the paper bag I kept in my bag for just such an occassion and breathed into it for a while. We sat in silence until I had quit crying and I felt like I was able to breath on my own again. It was obvious he wanted to know what was going on with me but was waiting till I'd calmed down some.

"Kizi what happened? Are you ok?" He gently asked, voice full of concern, "Your aura is a sad shade of blue."

With my voice cracking I told him, "I'm fine."

"No, you're not. Do not lie to me." He stated

"I'm sorry." Was my immediate reply while I darted my eyes downward

"Kizi I'm concernced for you. What was that, that just happened to you?" He questioned

"It was a anxiety attack." I very quietly informed him

"Why do you have anxiety attacks?" Tuomas asked, turning his body towards me signaling I had his whole and undivided attention

"I was diagnosed when I was 15. Mostly due to what happ..." I started before remembering I was with one of my bosses

"Due to what?" He questioned

"Please, I don't want to talk about this." I begged, finally taking the chance to look up at him

His eyes, and face, were soft and non-judgemental. His aura was a medium-light green which spoke of sensitivity and compassion. I quickly looked away, not wanting him to see the shame and vulnerability in my eyes and face. He gave off a vibe of comfort and friendliness.

"Come here, Kizi." He stated, opening his arms for a hug

I did as he requested and leaned into him. He wrapped his long arms around me in a tight embrace. I didn't quite know what to do so I tentively draped my arms around his waist. He held me there for a few minutes I guess to try and comfort me. It did to a degree but it also made me nervous. The only times the male species acted this way towards me was because they were trying to win a bet or just needed something to stick their dick into. I pulled back and looked away.

"I meant it when I said you didn't have to talk about anything you don't want to. Something's bothering you and I just want to help you. I feel your emotions too, remember?" He told me

"I, um..." I stuttered, unable to look him in the eye

"Marco said you were the first one down to wait for the bus. Did you get any sleep last night?" He questioned

"A little. But then I had a nightmare and couldn't go back to sleep." I suddenly confessed before blushing madly

"Anette said something about you screaming in your sleep. It might take you some time to get used to the touring and sleep schedules. If you need to take a nap it's ok. If you want to talk about your nightmare, I sleep in the bunk across from you." He said, giving me a warm smile

Someone called him back up front so I quietly made my way back to my bunk. I shut the curtain and rolled onto my stomach. Between being slightly jeg-lagged still and not getting much sleep due to that horrid nightmare, I drifted off to sleep in a matter of minutes.

** KIZI'S POV **

$Transformation \\ Tuomas Holopainen // COMPLETED \\ 187feade$

"Kizi, wake up, we've stopped for dinner!" I heard a male voice say

"Mmmkay." I sleepily replied before yawning

"Tuomas wants you to bring your laptop too." The voice asked

"Mmmkay." I replied again as I sleepily rolled out of my bunk

I grabbed my laptop case and stumbled off the bus. Tuomas and Marco were waiting for me. Both men smiled warmly at me as I made my way towards them. We walked into the restaraunt and found seats at the table Jukka had picked out. No suprise I was sitting in between the men I'd walked in with. Ewo and Anette were talking quietly amongst themselves while Jukka and Emppu were chatting about food. This restaraunt wasn't one the "tourist" spots so there was no English menu for me to look at.

"What are you wanting to eat?" Tuomas whispered to me, knowing I couldn't read the menu

"Just a cheeseburger and fries will be fine. With mustard instead of Mayonnaise, please." I whispered back, thankful he was helping me out

A few minutes later, everyone had ordered with Tuomas ordering for me. I wondered why he had wanted me to bring my laptop. Until he asked me to show him what I had been working on last night. Smiling shyly I brought it out of it's case and powered it up. It took a few minutes to load everything due to how many programs I had installed on it.

"What is this?" Marco asked, immediately interested in what I was doing

"This is a side project I've been working on for a few weeks." I told the very unique looking Finn, feeling more confident as I talked about what I knew best

"Oh, what is happening?" He asked me

"Um, well, I'm adding some effects to an animated story I came up with." I replied, "It's a work-in-progress but you can see what I've finished so far."

Tuomas and Marco leaned closer to me so they could both see my screen better. The animation was only about 5 minutes long and I'd only gotten the first minute's worth of effects completed. I was nervous about how they were going to like it. It was just something I'd come up with a while ago and decided to try to do in my spare time. When the video ended both were smiling at me.

"I can't wait to see it when it's finished!" Marco exclaimed

"Well it will be a while. I usually only work on this in my spare time." I told him

"Do you do anything with music?" Tuomas inquired

"What do you mean?" I asked, furrowing my brows

"Do add music to any of your projects? Or have you ever made a project around a song?" He clarified

"Oh! I've added music to projects before. Usually for effect or background sound. I've never made a piece of music the center piece of a project before." I said after a minute of contemplation

"Would it be hard to make some music the center?" He asked, voice dropping slightly

"It would depend on what you wanted. Give me some ideas and let me see what I can do with them." I replied, looking up into his ocean blue eyes

He wanted me to show him more of my projects so I dug some of the old ones up. It made me giggle because he wanted to know absolutely everything about how I did stuff or what the idea was behind the project. Even Marco was curious. By then our dinner had arrived so I closed my laptop but not powering it down. Tuomas told me he wanted to go over some things with me when we got back to the bus. I ate in relative silence while listening to everyone around me chatting away.

Before long we all headed back to the bus. Jukka and Marco started playing a video game, Emppu went to make a phone call, and Anette went straight to her bunk. Tuomas asked me to follow him to the back. I was nervous for some reason but did as he asked me. He watched me as I set my laptop back up. When it was ready I found him just staring at me.

"Know what I've noticed?" He asked me, eyes twinkling

"What?" I sheepishly replied

"You're very confident when you're talking about what you do but very shy otherwise. We're not going to bite, I promise. You can talk to us about anything." He told me

"That's what I told you the first night." I told him before turning away from him

He chuckled lightly. His laugh was kind of cute. Taking a deep breath I asked him what they wanted me to do for them, multi-media wise. He toldd me that they wanted me to start recording the shows for them to archive and possibly post online. I was also going to be running their official site starting in a few weeks. It was all gravy to me, I could do just about anything they wanted me to.

I went to their official site to see what it looked like and get his opinion on what he'd like to see happen with it when I took it over. We talked about what changes he'd like to see made, the things he wanted to keep, and the extras that I could add to it. Tuomas seemed really impressed with my abilities and that made me happy. Maybe I'd have this job for a good long while, if I don't screw it up.

"I have some songs that are the instrumentals from our last album. Do you think you might be able to do something with one or 2 of the songs?" He suddenly asked me

"Well like I said earlier, it really depends on what you want me to do." I quietly stated, while he rested his right arm on the back of the couch

"I'll give you creative control to see what you come up with. Ok? I want to see what you'll do." He replied, voice lowering

Why did it seem like there was something more to this little meeting than just business.

"Ok. Please give me your honest opinion, though. Constructive criticism is crucial because it lets me know what I can improve upon." I told him looking up into his eyes

Man he's really got some beautiful eyes!

"I think that's fair." He said, giving me a friendly smile

"Um, so, what do you guys do while traveling from place to place?" I lamely asked

"I usually write. Jukka and Marco like to play video games. Reading and sleeping are always good choices." He told me

"So is this as stressful as I was told it was?" I asked

Why the hell am I asking all these lame questions? Gah he must think I'm some stupid geek with no life. Oh wait, I AM a geek with no life >.>

He told me everything he knew and had experienced while out on the road. I continued asking all these stupid questions. Much to my suprise, and delight, he answered them all without acting like it was a burden. He was so kind to me. Before I even knew what was happening I'd turned my whole body toward him, as he had done with me, and we just sat there talking about superficial stuff. He understood I wasn't quite ready to talk about the deeper stuff yet.

** KIZI'S POV **

$Transformation \\ Tuomas Holopainen // COMPLETED \\ D162ac0d$

The next few days were spent mostly talking to Tuomas and Marco about what they thought would be good for the band, multi-media wise. That and trying to stay warm from the cold chill I was still getting from Anette. Noone said anything about it so I just left it alone. I figured it was better to just let her be and let her do what she wanted than try to do anything or say anything about it.

Tonight was their first show with me with them and I was requested to video tape it. So as their road crew were setting up the stage, I asked one of them to help me set up some of my wireless cameras. I had one that got an amazing overlook of the entire stage, one that overlooked each of the individual band members. With my laptop set up, I began doing my wireless setup so that I could test my cameras and make sure each one worked properly and that they were placed where I would get the optimal view of each member.

"What are you doing?" I heard Jukka aske me as he wandered up

"Testing to make sure my cameras are working properly and are placed right." I replied, giving him a small smile

"They won't get in the way, will they?" He questioned, not trying to be mean

"Of course not! I've got them placed where they won't be in your way but will hopefully give me the optimal view of each of you." I explained

"Can I sit at my kit and see if you can see me?" He questioned

"Sure! I'd love to see if I've got it placed right." I told him

He walked to his kit and sat down, giving an impromptu solo. My camera wasn't in his way at all, as a matter of fact he couldn't figure out where the hell it was, and it gave me an incredible view of him. I was grinning broadly at the tall Finn when he stood up. I'd recorded the few minutes he'd played to check the video & audio quality and was very pleased to discover it was excellent. I sighed with relief as I packed my laptop up so that I could head to the catering table to grab something to eat.

Marco, Empuu, and Tuomas were sitting together and waved me over when they saw me. I gave the trio a sheepish smile as I set my plate down. Tuomas inquired as to what I'd been doing all morning so I told them. They seemed intrigued so I had to explain that I was recording the show from several angles. Tuomas just smiled at me and said he couldn't wait to see how I put it together. I blushed as I ate my lunch.

As it got closer to showtime, I began to get excited. I hadn't heard any of their music before and was looking forward to seeing them live. Something I'd always heard was that if you truly wanted to see how good a band was you had to see them live. Of course they were feeling the excitement from the crowd that was beginning to come into the venue. They were doing a "meet and greet" after the show and I thought I'd get my video camera out and do some recording. About 20 minutes before the show was to start, Tuomas pulled me aside.

"Enjoy the show! You can walk to the side of the stage or in front of the barriers if you'd like. I know you're recording this show but have fun too! Relax and have a good time." He told me before pulling me into a tight hug

"Ok." I replied, heart speeding up slightly at the sustained contact

"Tuomas, Meidän täytyy mennä yllä setlistin todellinen nopea!" Emppu stated interupting our hug

Tuomas, we need to go over the setlist real quick!]

"Okei Emppu! Olen oikeassa siellä." Tuomas replied

Ok Emppu! I'll be right there.]

He hugged me again before leaving me to their little meeting. Thinking about his hugs made me smile to myself. Shaking my head of such thoughts, I went to get my laptop powered on and ready to begin recording. I figured I could watch the show while it recorded as long as I checked on the recording process from time to time. The lights to the stage went out and the band took the stage. I hit the record button and walked to the very front of the stage, in front of the barriers.

Tuomas spotted me almost immediately and gave me a warm smile. Marco did too and he waved at me. I laughed and waved back like a dork. Some of the most amazing music started and I was entranced immediately. I'd never really understood what he meant when he told me they were "Symphonic heavy metal" but listening to them now I understood. And was it mind-blowing!!! Watching them live was absolutely incredible, too.

I very reluctantly tore myself from the front of the stage to check on my recording several times during the show. It made me giggle slightly when each time I disappeared from my spot Tuomas would look around like he was looking for me or something. My recording was going flawlessly and I really couldn't be more pleased. After my last round of checking, I made my way back to where I was watching the show. One of the techs told me they had about 3 songs left before the show ended and I nodded my understanding.

Seeing me return, Tuomas gave me a warm smile. I smiled back and went back to looking around the stage, taking everyone in as they did what came naturally to them. Man this was truly exhilirating! Marco walked to the edge of the stage where he was throwing his pick into the audience. He gave me a wink before walking off to get himself another pick to play with. Before I knew it the show was closing so I started walking back to where my laptop had been set up. I was stopping the recording when the band left the stage.

Tuomas touched my arm on his way to wherever he was going and I turned my head to look at him. He smiled at me before leaving me to go wherever he was headed off to. I had to finish getting my cameras back before I could go anywhere. The curtains had been closed so that the road crew could begin taking down the stage. The tech who helped me get my cameras up also helped me get them down. I thanked him profusely as I was finally able to pack them away and head to where I was told I could hang out for the meet and greet.

The band were so friendly and out going with all the people who had gotten the necessary pass to this meet & greet. I video taped it all to see what I could do with it later. It really amazed me at how they interacted with their fans. Finally they were done and we all headed back to the bus to move on to the next city. Before I could put my laptop up, Tuomas quietly asked me to the back of the bus. I was nervous but followed him anyways.

"How'd you like the show?" He asked, turning his body towards me

"I've never heard anything quite like that before! How the hell have I never heard of you guys before?" I gushed before I could even stop myself

He chuckled, "Because we haven't really haven't made an impact in the states yet."

"That's a shame. The show was spectacular! Lots of enery and emotion. You guys sure know how to work the crowd!" I replied as Marco walked in

"I'm glad to hear you liked the show!" The blond man stated as he sat down on my right side

"How did the recording go?" Tuomas asked

"It was excellent video. I haven't checked to see how the audio is. Editing this is going to be hella fun." I laughed

"Can we see some of it?" Marco asked

"Well, all I have is the whole concert from each of the six cameras. I guess I can show you the footage from the main camera overlooking the whole stage." I stated, starting up the folder that had said footage

We watched the first 2 songs of the show before I shut it off. They seemed very impressed with the quality of the video. We talked for a while about how I liked the show and everything. My excitement seemed to amuse them both. Before long Marco bid us a good night and headed off to bed. Tuomas just stared at me so I started taking notes on how I thought I'd edit the live footage. I started yawning which made him chuckle. He suggested we both head to bed so that I could start fresh in my editing in the morning. I gave him a small smile before powering my laptop off and putting it back in it's case.

"I'm really glad you enjoyed the show and my music." He stated in my ear, voice low and deep, before ducking into his bunk and shutting the curtain

My breath caught in my throat. Shaking my head, I grabbed my jammies and headed to the bathroom to change clothes. I slipped into my bunk and shut the curtain.

** KIZI'S POV **

$Transformation \\ Tuomas Holopainen // COMPLETED \\ D162ac0d$

The next day I went over the notes I'd taken the previous night and began the video editing on the very first Nightwish concert I'd been lucky enough to see! My headphones were on so that I wouldn't disturb anyone else with the music. I was so caught up in what I was doing that I didn't realize someone had come up front, which is where I decided on taking the chance to sit, or that they'd been trying to get my attention. Until said person kicked the hell out of my leg.

"Hey!" I squeeled, pain radiating from where I'd been kicked

"Do you always ignore everyone around you?" Anette questioned, hands on her hips and obviously upset

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to disturb anyone with the music so I put my headphones on." I quietly told the upset Swede

"I've been trying to get your attention for 5 minutes! I guess you Americans really don't have manners!" She huffed as Jukka and Tuomas came up front

"Anette! That's not nice." Tuomas scolded

I looked down not wanting to cause any more problems.

"What did you need, anyway?" Tuomas stated agitatedly when the vocalist muttered something in Swedish

"We're stopping in 10 minutes for breakfast." Anette responded before walking to the bunks

The 2 Finns went to wake the other 2 and finish getting dressed. Tuomas had come out in just a pair of tight, holy jeans and no shirt or shoes. He really was a gorgeous looking man. Hell, even Jukka was an attractive man! I sighed heavily, still not feeling like I was ever going to fit in. Closing my eyes, I tried thinking about what I was going to do about their website.

The spot beside me moved so I opened my eyes and whipped my head to see who had sat down next to me. I found Marco smiling at me. We finally stopped for the promised breakfast and I was immensely thankful. The cold chill continued with Anette but I was noticing that 1 or 2 of the guys were starting their own little cold chill towards her. Was I causing a rift in the band?

Anette, Empuu and Ewo went to one table while Tuomas, Marco, Jukka, and myself went to another. Having our breakfast, Marco asked me how the editing was going. I simply shrugged, mostly because I had a mouthful of food and partly because editing is pretty boring, making the 3 men chuckle.

Breakfast was pretty uneventful. The rest of the day was uneventful. Everyone left me to my work. Well, Tuomas sat across from me on the opposite couch scribbling away in his notebook. Everyone else was either in their bunk or in the back lounge playing video games. Ever so often I could feel eyes upon me but I did my best to ignore the feeling. We were stopping at a hotel tonight because they had a show to do tomorrow night.

Once again I was rooming with the Ice Queen. I had to snicker to myself for my new nickname for Anette. It was mean, I know, but I hadn't done anything to make her act this way towards me. Taking a deep breath I opened the door to the room we shared to find her on the phone talking to someone in Swedish. She barely glanced at as I walked in so I made my way to my bed and set my bags down. As much as I was starting to dig the band I was also glad to get away from them for a short while.

I ate dinner in peace in my room. She went out with the guys. Besides, I could get more done on editing the concert if I wasn't with them. Marco and Tuomas constantly bombard me with questions so it's hard to get much done. I'm not saying I don't like them asking questions or answering them, it's just really distracting for me. I was still working on editing my video when she arrived. It didn't take her long to gather her things and head into the bathroom. A few hours later I'd shut my laptop off and put it up. Suprisingly it didn't take me long to fall asleep.

There I was in my room playing. Or trying to because of all the loud music, yelling, and weird sounds coming from the other rooms. My mother was throwing a party again. Lots of very creepy people hanging around our house all night didn't do anything but make me very nervous. The last time she threw one of these parties I ended up in the hospital.

She called for me and I knew I was in trouble. When I very cautiously descended the stairs everyone was looking at me. Mom started yelling about something I'd done weeks ago. Her yelling at me in front of all these people scared me so much I urinated on myself. This only infuriated her more and made all her guests laugh heartily.

She jerked me into the kitchen yelling about how much I embarrassed her and how much I disappointed her. The look in her eyes scared me almost to death. I really began to panic when she took one of the long, sharp knives from the knife block. Before I could let out a scream, which noone would hear anyways due to the loud music, she brought the knife down on my tiny little arm. With one last look, she threw the knife into the sink and walked away.

I shot up in bed covered in sweat with my heart racing. Immediately my right hand found it's way to the scar on my left that still remained. Looking over at Anette, I found her on her side glaring at me. I mumbled 'sorry' and slipped into my flops and grabbed my purse. I was heading down to the lobby to get some fresh air. Tuomas was walking towards the elevator with Marco and Jukka. They all stared at me with something that looked like lust. I couldn't figure out why until I looked down and realized I was still wearing my jammies: a pair of very short black shorts and a pink tank that came to about an inch above my belly button.

"Tavoitan sinun kavereja kanssa myöhemmin." Tuomas stated, "Let's go to my room."

{TRANSLATION: I'll catch up with you guys later.}

"I, um, didn't wake you..... did I?" I asked, fighting my tears

He opened the door to his room and quickly ushered me inside before speaking to me.

"Why are you up at this time of night?" He asked, obviously worried

As I was opening my mouth to answer a loud clasp of thunder rumbled and I jumped slightly. I walked to his balcony and looked out the window. The rain had already begun pouring down. His presence was intense as he walked up behind me. I sighed heavily wishing for the boy in my dreams.

"Kulta, please tell me what's wrong." He whispered

{TRANSLATION: Darling}

"It was just a nightmare. I woke up Anette again. Please tell her I'm very sorry." I whispered back, watching the rain

"There's more it. Please talk to me." He stated

"It's just a nightmare, that's all." I told him

"Why were heading downstairs?" He questioned placing his hands on the window by hips

"I just needed some air." I barely choked out

"You know you can tell me anything, right? What you tell me is... will stay between us." He stated, hot breath in ear

When did it get so hard to breath?

"I, um, I should probably get back to my room." I whispered, knees feeling like they were shaking

"Stay, please, Kulta and talk with me." He replied, placing his hand on my shoulders and turning me around

I just couldn't say no to those magnificent eyes. He ushered me over to his bed while he got us something to drink. Guess I'm not going back to bed any time soon. He handed me a Coke and then sat down beside me. I stayed silent waiting for him to say something. Knowing I didn't really want to talk about my nightmare, he suddenly asked about any books that I liked. That started our talk-a-thon. It was actually nice to talk to someone and feel like I had a friend!

Posts : 180 Join date : 2011-03-19 Age : 37

Yay, story is back. I loved the chapter you posted on the other site, and the new story with Stone Sour. <3

** KIZI'S POV **

$Transformation \\ Tuomas Holopainen // COMPLETED \\ D162ac0d$

We talked about books, movies that had been made from those books, the differences between the movies and book, authors we liked, authors we disliked, different writing styles and just about anything else to do with writing or books. For the very first time in my life, I felt like I had a friend. When I started getting sleepy, he offered to just let me stay with him. I blushed at the thought. He seemed to sense my hesitation.

I yawned again and the older man chuckled softly. He'd slipped out of his shoes and shirt awhile ago and told me to hang out because he was going to change into some pajama bottoms. Something told me to do as he asked so I just stood around waiting for him. He emerged a few minutes later looking a bit sheepish. Fatigue hit me and I figured it would just be easier sleeping her than walking down the hall to my room. Besides, the company was better!

He was a gentleman and stayed on his side of the bed while I laid on my side. We decided to turn on the tv to find a movie to go to sleep too. It was a drama but I couldn't really pay attention. I was too damned sleepy and too busy thinking of the man laying not 2 feet away from me. Sometime in the middle of the night I sort of woke up. I wasn't quite asleep but wasn't fully awake. I discovered we were both in the middle of the bed, his right arm was under my head and his left arm was around my waist. I was so tired I didn't even fully register things and simply laid my head back down and went back to sleep.

The next morning I kinda woke up to low voices chatting so I kept my eyes closed and relished in the warmth of the arms that held me tightly.

"Hän on niin nuori silti." The voice that sounded like Marco quietly stated

{TRANSLATION: She's so young, though.}

"Vanhene ei merkitse minulle. Selvästi on kemia siellä." Came the deep voice from behind me

{TRANSLATION: Age doesn't matter to me. There's definitely chemistry there.}

"Niin kauan kuin tiedät, minkä teet, mies. Hän näyttää todella viileältä. En voi odottaa kassalaatikkoa, jonka hän avautuu todella. Vähän on metalheadin oikku siellä kuoleminen juuri paljastuu!" Marco chuckled

{TRANSLATION: As long as you know what you're doing, man. She seems really cool. I can't wait till she really opens up. There's a little metalhead freak in there just dying to get out!}

"On, tunnen tuoltakin. Ajattelen, että meidän täytyy antaa Anetelle ja Kizille heidän omat hotellihuoneet. Minut väsytetään hänen narisemisestaan, kuinka hän on aina olen herätty vuoksi Kizin painajaisia." Tuomas replied

{TRANSLATION: Yeah, I feel that too. I think we need to give Anette and Kizi their own hotel rooms. I'm tired of her bitching about how she's always being awoken due to Kizi's nightmares. }

I couldn't stifle a yawn so I stretch too making both me quiet their friendly chatter. Opening my eyes I found Marco sitting in the lone chair in the room watching me. Sitting up in bed I gave the blond man a warm smile and stretched my back. Marco went to the restroom and I felt Tuomas gently run his hand over my back. Before I could stop myself, I smiled. There was something different in his touch. Unlike the other guys who've tried this, it didn't feel like this was a bet or anything. He seemed truly interested. And that scared me.

"Who wants some breakfast?" Marco asked, looking between Tuomas and myself

"Breakfast would be nice." Tuomas stated

The pair looked at me expectantly.

"Well, I guess I can't let the 2 of you eat without me." I grinned shyly

Marco called down for room service to bring up our breakfast. We sat around until I had to use the restroom. I could feel their eyes on me but there wasn't much I could do about it. As quickly as I could I did my business and exited the bathroom. Almost as soon as I'd stepped out I ran face-to-chest into Tuomas. It startled me so much I stumbled backwards then almost fell on my ass. Tuomas, moving like a cat, caught me before I did fall.

He had one arm around my shoulders and the other one around my lower back, more around my ass than back. I blushed madly as he stood up and pulled me into his chest. My breathing was still a little shaky since the incident had scared me pretty good. He seemed like he was trying to comfort me.

"Oh, Kaunis, I'm sorry for scaring you." He said, stroking my hair
{TRANSLATION: Beautiful }

"Thanks. For catching me." I blushed again

"Well I couldn't just let you fall." He said in my ear

I pulled away and bit my lip. The knock at the door brought us back to reality. We quickly exited the bathroom. I headed straight to the bed while he opened the door. To my delight it was our breakfast being brought up. Marco was on the balcony on the phone with someone. Tuomas handed me a plate of pancakes, sausage, bacon, and fruit. I smiled at him in thanks before he handed me a large glass of orange juice. Something made me watch him as he fixed his own plate. He was so calm and relaxed!

Kricket wrote:: Yay, story is back. I loved the chapter you posted on the other site, and the new story with Stone Sour. <3

New story with Stone Sour? Oh, yeah about the emancipated girl & her 5 siblings? Hehe, I almost forgot about it!

** KIZI'S POV **

$Transformation \\ Tuomas Holopainen // COMPLETED \\ D162ac0d$

The next few days were kind of weird. The cold chill seemed to be getting worse. I was hanging out with more of the band more and more. Well, little by little, should I say. We were hanging out at this bar in London when Anette started her crap with me again. We'd had a few drinks and Tuomas & Jukka were trying to teach me to play pool. I was failing miserably but was having a lot of fun.

"Guess the American gets frisky when she's drunk." Anette snootily stated as she walked by, looking down at me and Tuomas

To anyone walking by the position we were in was probably a little.... shady. I was bent over the pool table with Tuomas pressed against me as he was trying to teach me this one particular shot. He had run his hands down my arms and covered my hands with his own.

"Look, he's just trying to teach me how to make these shots." I immediately shot back

"I don't appreciate some American nobody GIRL talking to me that way!" She whipped around and stated

Having some alchohol in me made a little braver. I wasn't too sure of what was going to happen after tonight but I was getting sick of everyone treating me like a doormat.

"I am NOT an American nobody!" I screamed making the whole band look at me, "My name is Kizi and I am the BANDs media specialist. YOU are nothing special you Swedish bitch!"

Tuomas and Marco clapped making their vocalist glare at them in anger. Emppu and Jukka were stunned at my outburst. I could see in her eyes she was beyond pissed. Fear was beginning to take hold and I was scared I'd just made the biggest mistake of my life. Especially when she stomped over and slapped the living shit out of me. Tuomas grabbed me to make sure I didn't fall, as I'd stumbled backwards. Marco grabbed their vocalist and drug her off somewhere, probably to yell at her.

"Are you ok? Let me look at you." Tuomas instructed

"I.... I'm fine." I stuttered, still unbelieving I'd actually just did that

"You're shaking terribly. Have a seat." He told me as he asked the waitress to bring me a glass of water

"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have...." I sighed, "....succumbed to my outburst like that."

"Of course you should! She has no right saying things like that! You need to really start sticking up for yourself more." Tuomas quietly told me, running his hand over my bruised cheek

Jukka seemed to just watch the interaction between the keyboardist and myself. Tears welled up in my eyes and he pulled me into his chest. Tentatively I wrapped my arms around his waist. He told the drummer that he was taking me back to the hotel. Jukka said something in Finnish before Tuomas ushered me out of the bar. It was a short walk from the bar, maybe a block or so, to the hotel and we arrived quickly. I was still fighting tears and trying so very hard not to cry in front of this man.

He took me back to my room. He opened the balcony door to let some air in. I was sitting on the bed watching him. How is it he seemed so caring and protective when he didn't really know me? Why couldn't I find someone like him back home? Home. I've never really had a home. There has never been a place I've lived at that's felt like a home. He sat down next to me and pulled me to him.

"It's ok. Things are going to be fine." He quietly told me

"I don't fit in." I whispered, a few rogue tears slipping down my cheeks

"What do you mean?" He asked

"I've never fit in any where. I'm just the geeky kid sitting next to you. Just the geek everyone takes advantage of." I replied, more tears falling

"This all stems from your childhood, doesn't it?" He questioned

I simply nodded.

"I wish you would talk to me." He stated, running his right hand through my hair

"I... I can't." I stuttered

"Kulta, whatever you tell me will stay between us. You're hurting and I can't help if I don't know what's wrong." He whispered

We stayed silent for a while until I started yawning. As he was getting ready to leave my room, I burst out into tears. Not just a few rolling down my cheeks. He turned to look at me and rushed over. The over-whelming need to spill everything seemed almost too much for me. He wrapped me up in his arms and just let me cry. Finally he laid us both down as I just cried and cried into his chest.

"Shh, Kult, it's going to be ok. Let it all out." He said, simultaneously rubbing my back and caressing my cheek

Between the crying spell, the warmth of his body, and sheer exhaustion I drifted off into a restless sleep. Maybe it was the rythmic sound of his heartbeat, mabye it was the warmth of his body, maybe it was for just a moment I felt loved and protected. I'd never felt more relaxed. Until....

I was probably 4 years old. Mom was spazzing due to the drugs she'd ingested. Some of the the guys that were in house somehow got me to sniff the white powder on the coffee table. I didn't understand what was happening. The euphoric feeling was something new and at that time I didn't like it. It scared me. My heartbeat had increased and I got hot, on top of being very hyperstimulated.

I was so fucking scared when one of the guys stuck a needle in my arm and injected a clear liquid into me. They all thought my reactions were funny but I was absolutely terrified. Shortly after it was injected in me, a feeling of euphoria came over me, in which I had a dry mouth and the feeling of having "heavy" arms and legs. After the initial rush, I went into an alternately wakeful and drowsy state.

One of the men came at with something else and I screamed and tried to run away from him. Due to the drugs in my system already I couldn't really move. I tried kicking and screaming to get him to leave me alone but it didn't do much do.

"Kizi! Kulta, please wake up!" I heard that deep voice say, rousing me from the nightmare I'd been having

I sat up, tears streaming down my face, heart racing, sweat pouring from my face. He pulled me to him and let me cry once more. When I was a little calmer, he wiped my face of my tears.

"Kizi, you scream loudly in your sleep. What are you having all these nightmares about?" He questioned

"I... I'm.... sorry.... for.... waking.... you..." I said stuttering

"Please Nukke, tell me." He all but begged, blue eyes now a dark blue.

{TRANSLATION: Doll }

His vibe was sending the message he was very concerned and worried. The sincerity is there and I just didn't have the energy to fight him anymore.

"My childhood." I whispered, hanging my head in shame

"Shhh, you're safe." He quietly told me, moving my hair out of my face, "We need to talk about this. You're hurting, Kulta, and I want to help you. But I can't if you don't talk to me."

I sighed heavily, "Can we talk about this tomorrow?"

"Sure. Come here." He replied, laying down and pulling me with him

I buried my face in the crook of his neck. He smelled like beer, sweat, and something else. He smelled like all man and it was something deep down in me that liked it a whole hell of a lot. His presence was calm and comforting.

** KIZI'S POV **

$Transformation \\ Tuomas Holopainen // COMPLETED \\ D162ac0d$

The next morning I found myself wrapped protectively in the tall man's arms. My face was still nuzzled in his neck and our legs seemed to be intertwined underneath the warm covers. I could tell he was awake because his breathing wasn't shallow. He started rubbing my back and moved hair out of my face. His hand caressed my cheek with affection.

"Good morning, Kizi." He said with a whisper

I moved to look at his face. Nothing but calmness and something else.

"Ajattelen, että voisin rakastua sinuun. " He said

{TRANSLATION: I think I could fall in love with you. }

"I'm sorry about last night." I shamefully whispered, looking away from him

"No need to apologize. Would you like to go have breakfast?" He questioned, not even bothering to translate what he had said to me

"Sure." I simply said as I sat up and stretched my back, "I need to change first though."

"Ok, I'll meet you back here in 10, ok?" He said, kissing my forehead

I nodded before watching him leave my room. Something was changing. Something in me, something between us. Was it good? It's too early to tell. Could I stop it? I don't think so. Did I want to stop? I'm not too sure. His presence, his vibe, his touch all indicate that he's sincere in his intentions of helping me. Eventually I had to shake my head to clear it and get dressed. Right as I was slipping into my shoes, there came a knock at the door.

Tuomas told me we'd be meeting Jukka and Marco downstairs in the hotel restaraunt for breakfast. I nodded my head as we waited. As we entered the elevator, he made me promise to talk to him like I'd promised him last night. Sighing I told him I would when we got back on the road. Satisfied with my answer, the air seemed less tense. Was this what it was like to have someone care about you?

We made it down to the restaraunt a few very short minutes later. Marco greeted me with a tight hug before inspecting my poor bruised cheek. Jukka gave me a warm smile. I sat down next to Tuomas and looked over the menu that was already there. The air between us wasn't.... I didn't feel they were upset with me. It wasn't until the waitress had brought our drinks & left did anyone say anything.

"That was awesome last night, Kizi! I'm glad to see you're starting to stick up for yourself!" Marco stated smiling at me

"I liked how you were all 'I'm NOT an nobody, I'm Kizi!' That was fantastic!" Jukka stated, grinning at me as well

"I'm not trying to start problems in the band. I didn't mean to lash out like that." I replied, trying to be professional

"But you can't be a doormat either. It's ok to stick up for yourself." Marco retorted

Things between us seemed fine. It was a big relief to know they weren't upset with me. Emppu was another story. I hadn't gotten to spend a whole lot of time with him because he was usually hanging out with Anette. We ate breakfast with the guys making laugh at stories of when they were just starting out. It seemed so casual to me, like 4 old friends having breakfast together. Is this what it was like to have friends? Is this what it's like to be "normal"?

Breakfast seemed too quick because we were all heading back to our rooms to pack our stuff and get ready to leave again. Tuomas reminded me again that we were to have a talk when we got on the bus. Something about him was making me want to tell him everything about me. As I was sitting on my bed just trying to kill time there came a knock at my door. Upon opening it up, I found Tuomas standing there with all his bags. He asked if I wanted to walk downstairs with him. I blushed, why I'm not sure, and agreed.

Once we were happily situated on the bus and bustling down the road, Tuomas pulled by my hand to the back lounge. He shut the door to keep this conversation as private as possible. I was nervous at telling another person my whole life story. However there was something about him that seemed to calm me. Taking a deep breath I began my sad life story. He listened intently, asking a question or 2 here and there for clarification, but let me tell him in my own way. I explained why I'm so shy, why I retreat into myself when in groups, why I've never really stood up for myself before now.

I even told him about the boy in my dreams, about the dreams I've had that all seem to be connect to this mysterious boy. I confessed my feelings about everything: myself, my job, my "family", my "home" or lack-thereof. The whole time, although I did cry quite a bit, he seemed so interested and concerned. He had pulled me into him while I cried and even cried with me. When I was finally done he simply sat there with me in his arms. The mood was heavy, his vibe was a mix of sadness and anger, but I did feel a bit better. I'd never told another soul as much about me as I just confessed to Tuomas.

"Kulta, I can't even imagine what you've gone through. My parents, my childhood was great. I don't understand how a parent can treat their child that way." He finally stated, moving hair out my face to kiss my forehead

"Can I tell you something else?" I whispered, starting to shake

"I've told you that you can tell me anything. Don't ever feel like you can't talk to me." He replied, kissing my forehead again

"I've never had a real friend before. But there's something about you, your aura, your vibe, that is so calming and relaxing to me." I whispered, looking away from him in embarrassment

"I'm glad you feel that way." He stated, voice low and deep

He turned my face towards his. My heart started speeding up slightly. His blue eyes shone with nervousness but, as if in slow motion, he slowly moved where our lips were barely touching. Electricity flowed through me as our lips touched. Suddenly I wanted more. I guess he did too because when I didn't pull away, he deepened the kiss. His facial hair tickled slightly and I wanted to giggle. Of the few guys that have ever kissed me, none of them have ever kissed me the way Tuomas was kissing me.

He was cupping my face in his beautiful hands. Before I even knew what was happening, I was putty in his hands. We pulled away needing air. He smiled at me and I blushed. He caressed my face before kissing me softly again. This I could definitely get used to!

"You are so beautiful, Kizi. I can't figure out why you're still single." He whispered in my ear, making me shiver

"Not necessarily by choice." I breathed back

"I can change...." He started before Jukka chased Emppu into the back room

I cocked my eyebrow at the pair as Jukka playfully beat up the smaller man. Tuomas seemed a little irritated about the interuption. I went to move away from him, but he slipped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. Sighing heavily I rested my head on his shoulder. He rested his head on top of mine.

** KIZI'S POV **

$Transformation \\ Tuomas Holopainen // COMPLETED \\ D162ac0d$

We stopped in London because they had a show and a few days off. I was recording this show as well and videotaping one of their days out seeing the tourist sites. On top of all that, I was sketching out how I wanted to re-design their site. Emppu wasn't really talking to me. Each time I tried he just ignored me or got up and left.

Tuomas usually slept in my room when we were at hotels, although nothing ever happened beyond some hot making out, and I was starting to sleep in his bunk on the bus. If anyone noticed they weren't saying anything. Anette was still being as cold to me as ever and I quit trying to play nice. She'd spit something at me and I'd spit something right back at her.

We were at the hotel getting ready to go out sight-seeing. I had my video camera and associated accessories and was just waiting for the rest of the band. There came a knock at my door. Opening it up I found a flower delivery guy holding a dozen purple calla lillies. He said they were for me and that all I needed to do was sign that I'd received them. Quickly scribbling my signature, I shut the door and took a big sniff of my favorite flowers. Who had sent them? I looked and found a card:

[blockquote]To the most beautiful, talented, funniest, and strongest woman in the world.[/blockquote]

I smiled reading the simple note and then began wondering who had sent them. Setting them on the dresser by the TV, I heard yet another knock at the door. Opening it up found my looking at Tuomas. He gave me a shy smile. I moved so he could enter and he stared at my newly acquired flowers.

"Do you like them?" He asked, turning to look at me

"They're beautiful!" I replied smiling

"You really like them, then?" He asked, looking at me intently like he was trying to see if I was lying to him or not

"Of course I do! They're so beautiful. I've always loved Calla Lillies and purple is definitely my favorite color. These flowers couldn't be more perfect!!" I gushed, blushing madly afterwards

"I'm glad you like them. I was hoping I got the right flowers." He confessed

"You sent them?" I questioned

When he nodded yes, I threw myself into his arms. He chuckled softly and wrapped his arms around me. No one had ever sent me flowers before and I told him so. He couldn't believe it but it was true. I kissed his cheek and hugged him again. He wasn't satisfied with that and kissed me softly on the lips. I pressed myself into his tall, lean body wanting more contact. He ran his hand up the back of my shirt making me shiver.

Before we could even begin to get frisky we heard Marco outside yelling that we'd be leaving for our little adventure in 15 minutes. We chuckled lightly before breaking away so I could gather my camera bag. I'd stuffed my wallet and room key in it so that I wouldn't have to take my purse.

Marco and Jukka greeted me cordially when I emerged from my room. Apparently Emppu and Anette were doing their own thing. I was a bit relieved because I didn't want to start anything while out and having fun. The 4 of us were going to take a tour to all the tourist attractions but as they chatted in Finnish the plans for the day apparently changed. I pretty much followed them around and before long we were inside some cool little Goth shop. I looked up at Tuomas questioningly. He only smiled.

"You need some new clothes, Kulta. Find whatever you wish." He whispered in my ear

"I can't." I stated

"Don't worry about things so much. Have fun." He smiled at me

Hesitantly I began walking around just looking at things. Jukka came up with this neat little skirt he wanted to see me in. Every now and then one of them would come up to me to show me an article of clothing they wanted to see me wear but for the most part I was left to pick clothes on my own. I didn't want to pick out too much but Tuomas insisted that if I wanted it, to get it. Sighing I did as he asked.

Before long I'd found several skirts, pants, t-shirts, and other various tops. Tuomas seemed pleased with my selection. I had to put all that I'd found on the counter while Marco called me over to look at something. I didn't like it too much, which made the tall blond chuckle, and then headed back to the counter. All my clothes had been rung up and the cashier was handing the large bag to Tuomas. He smiled at me as he handed the bag over.

We casually went into maybe 2 more shops before stopping for lunch. I'd gotten several new pairs of shoes, which thankfully fit perfectly unlike most of the shoes I currently owned, and had changed into the pair of combat boots I'd just picked out. Lunch was spent talking about what attractions we wanted to go see. They'd been here before but I hadn't so they wanted to know what I wanted to see. Giggling I said anything would be cool.

So the boys took me to Buckingham Palace, the London Bridge and then to the British Museum. I had whipped out my camera and was capturing every moment. Jukka, the sneaky shit that he is, somehow got the camera out of my hands and was getting footage of me as well. Why I'm not sure but the other 2 weren't complaining. He finally gave it back to me so I could continue my filming. I had some ideas on what to do with this and was looking forward to editing it later.

I was having a great time with the guys and it suprised me when it started getting dark. Marco suggested we all head back to the hotel to get cleaned up and ready to go out. As we were riding a bus back to the hotel Tuomas leaned over and suggested I wear some of my new clothes tonight. I blushed and nodded. He didn't show much affection in public but when we were alone it was a different story. He walked me to my room before heading to "get cleaned up" as Marco put it. I decided to get a quick shower since I'd been sweating most of the day in the London heat.

When I exited the bathroom my eyes landed on the bouquet of lillies and I had to smile. Tuomas had sent me flowers. Wasn't that something men did when they courted a woman? I dug through my bags to find the pair of leather pants Marco picked out for me and a black off-the shoulder tank with purple roses going cross-ways from left to right that came maybe an inch or so above the top of my pants. I slipped back into my newly acquired combats. I'd stuffed everything back into my purse as there came a knock at the door.

I opened it up to see Tuomas standing there. His jaw nearly hit the floor when he saw me. He quickly shut the door and made me turn around so he could see the entire ensemble. I blushed at his gawking of me but it kind of made me proud too.

"Kulta, you look amazing!" He stated, smiling at me

I blushed again as he walked towards me. He placed his hands on my hips and tenderly touched his lips to mine. I'd placed my hands on his sides before he pulled me straight to him. We were so close I'm sure he felt my heart hammering in my chest.

"We need to get moving if we're gonna meet everyone downstairs." He told me before kissing me again

"Mmmkay." I mumbled making him chuckle

** KIZI'S POV **

$Transformation \\ Tuomas Holopainen // COMPLETED \\ D162ac0d$

Tuomas wanted me to bring my laptop so I grabbed it. He took my hand and kissed it tenderly before leading me out into the hallway. Halfway to the elevator we ran into Emppu and Anette. She gave me a nasty look but I just rolled my eyes. Emppu and Tuomas began chatting in Finnish so Anette and I stayed quiet. Other than the 2 men chattering away the trip downstairs was quiet. Every so often Tuomas would look at me and smile. His eyes always drew me in. It was like he could see beyond me into my soul.

"Pyhä paska! Kizi katsoo hämmästyttäminen nyt kun hän pitää vaatteita jotka sopivat varsinaisesti hänen ruumiinsa! " Marco exclaimed making Tuomas smile

{TRANSLATION: Holy shit! Kizi looks amazing now that she's wearing clothes that actually fit her body! }

"Hitonmoinen hän on saanut uskomattoman ruumiin! " Jukka stated, looking me up and down

{TRANSLATION: Goddamn she's got an incredible body! }

I only blushed and looked down.

"Rakkani, you look beautiful this evening." Marco said to me, taking my hand and kissing it gently

I blushed again before Tuomas said we should go. Taking a deep breath I walked outside. Everyone else followed me. I may have looked calm and cool on the outside, I was nothing but a ball of nerves on the inside. Everyone was silent until we made it to the bar we were heading to. Anette kept glaring at me like I'd done something wrong. Did she know something I didn't?

We'd ordered dinner, with Tuomas having to help me by reading the damned menu to me, and were just sitting around. Everyone was quiet which seemed unusual for these guys. Eventually Anette went to go play pool with some guy. Everyone else just sat around and seemed to stare at me. It made me really nervous but Tuomas just smiled at me.

"Well Kizi Jukka and I were talking earlier." Marco stated

"Oh shit." I chuckled nervously, making them all laugh too

"It's nothing bad, I promise. We were talking about the website and what we could add to it. How hard would it be to add like a video that's kind of a blog?" Marco asked

"A vlog, you mean? Not difficult at all. The only thing I need to do is record it and post it. Simple stuff." I told the blond man

"Is there anything that isn't really simple for you?" He chuckled

"Would it be possible to make like a jukebox? So people can hear clips of the songs?" Jukka asked

"It's a bit trickier but I can get it done. It'll take me a bit longer to get up and running, though." I replied

"A v-log? How can you put a jukebox on a website?" Tuomas questioned making me giggle at his lack of technical... understanding

"A vlog is a video blog. Instead of writing it out, you video tape it then post it. A jukebox is, a music player for the web. That has more coding behind it to make all the songs play like their supposed to, make all the buttons work properly." I explained the older man sitting next to me

"Oh, ok." He replied

I laughed softly at him. The rest of the guys seemed to understand what I was talking about. Or they at least pretended to understand. Marco, Jukka, and I talked about a vlog for them. I explained that there was no set time limit or expectations of how long or short it had to be. There was nothing they definitely had to talk about or not talk about. I made them all laugh when I explained that if they wanted to ramble about the great restaraunt they had eaten at then that was fine. If they wanted to bitch about cd cases like Corey Taylor had done then that was cool too. People would love whatever they talked about.

"What are planning for Anette and myself?" Emppu suddenly piped up, seemingly angry

"What do you mean?" I asked, furrowing my brows, confused as to what he was getting at

"Is there anything you want to do with us?" He asked, softening his tone

"I'll do whatever you want. The website is all about you guys. I'm just hear to enhance it. I'll work with you on whatever you'd like to do." I replied, smiling sweetly at him

"What if I wanted to do a, what did you call it, a video blog teaching people how to play guitar?" He inquired, almost defensively

"Then we'll get to work recording you and getting it on the web." I stated

"What if I wanted to talk in Finnish?" He retorted

"Then I'll have to get one of you to translate for me so that I can add subtitles to the bottom of the screen for those who aren't lucky enough to speak Finnish." I fired back

"You're ok, Kizi." He finally stated, giving me a wide grin

"Thank you, my fine little friend." I said, returning his friendly smile

The rest of the night we talked about all of them doing a kind of 'this is how you play this song' kind of vlog series. They were each very excited about it so I got my laptop started so that I type up some notes about what we were talking about. Tuomas told me he'd help translate what the guys spoke and I thanked him profusely. I was so busy taking notes that I didn't even notice when our food had arrived. The creative juices were flowing and if I didn't write them down I'd forget them by the morning.

Tuomas was kind enough to get my food packed up for me as I did my thing. I had to plan out when I'd get things rolling. The guys were usually pretty busy with interviews, their soundcheck, getting ready for the show. I didn't want to bother them when they were busy or tired. Jukka, Emppu and Marco had engrossed themselves in conversation while Tuomas simply watched me work.

We finally made it back to the hotel. I guess that little chat with Emppu helped him warm up to me. He told me he wanted to hang out tomorrow so I told him I'd like that. He gave me a hug before leaving me to head to Jukka's room where the 2 of them were going to drink with Marco. Anette stalked to her room. Tuomas followed me into mine and quickly shut my door.

I'd slipped out of my shoes and got my laptop restarted so that I could continue working. He took his shoes off too and sat behind me. It made me smile when he leaned his chin on my shoulder and just watched me as I started playing with programs to find a good format for Emppu's "tutorial" video series. I nearly jumped out of my skin when he rested his hands on my hips. Before I could stop myself, I leaned back into the warm body of the man behind me. As I was getting something going, he slid his hands up my sides and then moved my hair to the right side of my neck. It left the left side of my neck exposed for only a brief moment. I found his very warm, soft lips on my neck.

A/N: Chapter 13 is done. Yes I'm leaving it there. Yes I know I'm an evil, evil person for leaving it THERE. I'm leaving it there for the next chapter.

** KIZI'S POV **

$Transformation \\ Tuomas Holopainen // COMPLETED \\ D162ac0d$

A/N: THIS CHAPTER IS RATED X FOR GRAPHIC SEX SCENE. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED. OTHERWISE ENJOY!!

I'd slipped out of my shoes and got my laptop restarted so that I could continue working. He took his shoes off too and sat behind me. It made me smile when he leaned his chin on my shoulder and just watched me as I started playing with programs to find a good format for Emppu's "tutorial" video series. I nearly jumped out of my skin when he rested his hands on my hips. Before I could stop myself, I leaned back into the warm body of the man behind me. As I was getting something going, he slid his hands up my sides and then moved my hair to the right side of my neck. It left the left side of my neck exposed for only a brief moment. I found his very warm, soft lips on my neck.

His lips felt so good on my skin. Even though his facial hair tickled slightly. Now I'm not whore, I don't sleep around. Something about him just made me so relaxed, calm. I never thought that doing this would actually feel so good. Everything I've ever heard or read, never said anything about it feeling so right. He was still kissing my neck and I was really helpless to do anything but lean my head back and give him more access.

He moved so that his legs were outstretched on either side of me. Then he wrapped his right hand around my waist and pulled me closer to him. Even though I wasn't standing upright, my knees felt weak. He began just nuzzling my neck and I ran my right hand down his arm until we laced our fingers. I wanted him to know it was ok to do what he wanted to do.

"Oi Jumala kuinka haluan sinut, Enkeli. ... " He growled in my ear

{TRANSLATION: Oh God, how I want you, Angel.... }

I wanted to taste his lips. So I turned my self around so we were facing one another. His blue eyes were bright and shone with desire, nervousness, and something else. I looked from his magnificent eyes down to his lips and back up again. He got the message and crashed his lips on mine. I moaned into the kiss making him smile. He ran his hands up the back of my shirt. He unhooked the strapless bra I'd been wearing and threw it to the floor by the side of the bed.

I was kissing his neck now and inhaling his scent. This surely had to be heaven! He leaned back slightly and slipped the button-down short sleeved shirt he was wearing off and then slipped the undershirt up over his head. I had to admire the beautiful body I was seeing. The undeniable urge to run my hands over his chest and arms was too much and I had to give in. He wasn't a body builder by any means but he was toned enough for my liking. He's just an all-around gorgeous man, inside and out.

"Rakkauteni kuinka haluan tehdä rakkautta sinulle kuinka minä haluan palvoa ruumiisi, kuinka minä haluan näyttää sinulle kuinka paljon sinä tarkoitat minulle..." He stated, hot breath in my ear making me shiver

{TRANSLATION: My love how I want to make love to you, how I want to worship your body, how I want to show you how much you mean to me... }

"I have no idea what you just said but it sounded beautiful." I whispered before nuzzling his neck again

He responded by squeezing my leather-clad ass and nibbling on my shoulder. I arched my back in response, pressing my breasts into his bare chest. His hand roamed upwards until he had the hem of my shirt. I felt him slipping my shirt over my head. When I was completely topless, he pulled away and looked at me silently asking permission to continue. I blushed at how exposed I was and nodded my head yes.

He moved me so that I was laying on my back. At first I thought I'd done something wrong. But then he started to slowly finish undressing me. The last time I was this exposed it was so the guy could win a bet. But with Tuomas it was like the universe had aligned and he was the only person on Earth. When he had me naked, he looked me over and smiled. I blushed knowing I was completely exposed and there was no way to hide my nakedness.

He started to undress himself slowly. It was almost excruciating to watch. But oh was it worth it in the end. I let my eyes roam his body and could only bite my lip. Motioning for him to come to me, I was suprised he did. I wanted to kiss him again and he was more than happy to oblige. He ran his tongue along my bottom lip which only seemed to turn me on even more. He ran his hands over my naked flesh which made goose bumps appear.

"You are so beautiful, Kulta." He whispered as his right knee gently moved my legs apart

I blushed at his compliment. Noone had ever told me such things and truly meant it before. His voice told me he was sincere in his compliment. He scooted me down a little bit while I simply ran my hands through his hair. With his left hand he gently ran his finger down the folds of my womanhood. I jumped slightly at the intrusion but he told me to relax and that if he did anything that to let him know. I kissed the middle of his chest in response making him close his eyes.

My hands roamed just about everywhere. I wanted to remember this night for as long as I lived! His hair was so soft and, although it was slightly wavy, it was easy to run my fingers through. We kissed as we touched, we nuzzled as we massaged. Before long I realized I was wet down there and blushed. He kissed my lips, slowly moving down my neck, then down my chest. I had to giggle as he delicately kissed each nipple. He slowly kissed his way down and all over my body. It was like he was trying to implant every inch of my body into his memory.

Was this what it was like being in love? Was this what it was like to be loved? I sure hope so because I've never felt anything like this before! He kissed his way back up my body before nuzzling my neck.

"Kulta, I have to ask. Have you ever had sex before?" He quietly questioned

"N... no." I shamefully replied

"Then this might be slightly painful. If you can't stand it let me know. If you don't want to go through with this then let me know now." He replied, kissing my neck after every few words

"I want to, with you." I whispered

He kissed me with passion that I'd never felt before. I pulled him down on me, since he was propping himself up with one arm, so that our bodies were touching. I wanted to feel every inch of him on my skin. I wanted him to feel every inch of me! He slipped a finger inside me which made me jump slightly again at the contact. He kissed me as he did so. Sitting up a little, he looked into my eyes and asked if I was ready. I took a deep breath and shook my head yes. He kissed me once more before readying himself for me.

I wasn't quite sure what to expect but pain was not what I got. He very cautiously and slowly inched himself into my virginal opening. There was a slight discomfort for maybe 30 seconds but it quickly subsided. It was a unique feeling to say the least. He kissed me as he slid into me. His lips were so warm and soft that quite often that's all I could really concentrate on. Until he was fully inside. I knew he was because his hips were rubbing against mine.

He nuzzled my neck as he pulled himself out and slid back in again in a slightly quicker motion than the last time. When he realized I wasn't feeling any pain, he began to quicken his pace. I wrapped my arms around his chest and pulled him to me. As my body began to tense, I arched my back rubbing my breasts against his bare chest. He seemed to like the contact because he kissed me rather passionately.

Suddenly it seemed like my body was on fire as it tensed up. It took a few minutes for the feeling to subside and he really quickened his pace after my feeling went away. I felt when his body tensed and a few seconds later he collapsed on top of me. He was sweaty and panting. I moved a few strands of hair out of his face before he rolled over and pulled me where I was laying cradled in his arms.

"Rakastan sinua" He whispered, kissing my forehead

{TRANSLATION: I love you. }

I sighed happily as I traced around his chest and stomach. Maybe half an hour later, he asked me if I was ready to do that again. I giggled and smiled at him. This time he wanted me on top of him. I didn't know what I was doing but he seemed fine with whatever I did. He massaged my breasts as I bounced up and down on him. When we had recovered from that, he had me in some weird position laying on my side. I had to admit though, this was one hell of a night!

He truly did treat my body like a temple and worshipped it like I always envisioned your soul mate would. He was gentle with me and always made sure I wasn't in any pain. Each position he had me in, he always made sure my body to spasming and I saw stars. He wouldn't allow himself to release until I was satisfied. When the first signs of daylight began, he pulled me to him. I nuzzled my face in his neck, inhaling the scent of sweat, beer, and sex.

"Haluan sinun olevan kaivos ikuisesti, rakkauteni. ... " He whispered, caressing my cheek

{TRANSLATION: I want you to be mine forever, my love..... }

Realizing someone might walk in, he pulled the covers over both of us. His body was so warm and soft I was still tracing designs on his chest even when sleep was over taking me. He continually kissed me, whether it was my cheek or my forehead, until I had finally passed out in pure bliss.

A/N: Chapter 14 is done. I hoped this chapter was as fun to read as it was to write!

** KIZI'S POV **

$Transformation \\ Tuomas Holopainen // COMPLETED \\ D162ac0d$

It was a good thing that they had the day off because we didn't wake up till nearly noon. A knock at the door made Tuomas grumble 'Nartun poika'. I sleepily smiled before closing my eyes and drifting back to sleep. He had to quickly slip back into his jeans to open the door. A few minutes later he came back to bed. Much to my disappointment, he kept his jeans on. Immediately I snuggled into his warm body and he wrapped his toned arms around me.

{TRANSLATION: Son of a bitch }

He kissed my forehead and just held me as I drifted deeper and deeper into the most contented sleep I'd ever had. I'm not sure exactly what we are but right now I don't much care. Admittedly, I'd never had a real boyfriend before any actually dated anyone. I guess in the scope of these guys I'm pretty naive little girl. The feelings I have for him are very real. For the first time in my entire life I actually feel cared for, loved, and safe. I just want to bask in the wonderful attention he's giving me.

"Niin. ...., mikä sattui välillä sinun kaksi? Tiedän, että jokin teki. Hehkut, kaveri." I sort of registered Marco's voice say

{TRANSLATION: So..... what happened between you two? I know something did. You're glowing, dude. }

"Marco pidä tämä meidän välillä." Tuomas said, taking a deep breath, "Teimme rakkautta. En voisi auttaa itseäni silti, hän oli juuri niin. ... Ja mies, hän olivat neitsyt! Hän salli varsinaisesti minun ottaa hänen viattomuutensa! "

{TRANSLATION: Marco, please keep this between us. We made love. I couldn't help myself, though, she was just so.... And man, she was a virgin! She actually allowed me to take her innocence! }

"Oi Jumala, kaverini! Oliko hän, tarkoitan, hän salli varsinaisesti mennä että kaukana hänellä? Kertoiko hän sinulle, että hänet oli neitsyt?" Marco replied, sounding a bit shocked

{TRANSLATION: Oh my God, dude! She was, I mean, she actually allowed you to go that far with her? She told you she was a virgin? }

"Hän teki kyllä. Voisin kertoa vieläpä ennen kuin kysyin häneltä silti. Marco, hän on niin makea. En tunne koskaan tätä paljon kenestäkään ennen. Sukupuoli on sukupuoli mutta hänellä... se oli eri." Tuomas stated before kissing my forehead, making me sigh happily

{TRANSLATION: She did yes. I could tell even before I asked her, though. Marco, she's so sweet. I've never felt this way about anyone before. Sex is sex but with her... it was different. }

I slowly opened my eyes to see Tuomas looking at me. He gave me a warm smile before tipping my head up to where he could kiss me. I caressed his cheek making him sort of hug me back. He touched his forehead to mine as we just stared at one another. Marco "clearing his throat" made me snap my head towards him. Seeing him there made me blush.

"Good morning, Kizi." He smiled

"Um, good morning Marco." I replied before burying my face in Tuomas' neck

"Jukka and Emppu want to go out and do something fun. Do you 2 want to come along?" Marco asked

"Sure! Emppu wanted to hang with me today anyway." I piped up

"Cool. Get a shower & get dressed and I'll give ya a call when we're ready to go. I'll let them know we should stop for some lunch too." Marco winked at us making me blush

When he left Tuomas told me we really should get a quick shower. I pouted when he crawled out of bed. Seeing me pout made him chuckle slightly and then hold his hand out of me. I took the offered hand. He led me to the bathroom where he picked me up and sat me on the counter. I watched as he got the shower goin and then stripped himself of the little clothing he had on. He really was a very beautiful man and as I looked him over I blushed.

He walked over to where I was sitting and placed his hands on my thighs. Then he leaned his forehead on mine where were staring into one another's eyes. I sighed as we simply looked at one another. Before long he moved and softly kissed me. It was so sweet when he lifted me off the counter and helped me into the nice, hot-but-not-scalding-hot shower. I moaned at the heat and closed my eyes. Tuomas instructed me to wet my hair so that he could wash it for me. Instantly I opened my eyes and stared at the man before me. He only grinned as he squeezed some shampoo into his palm.

Despite being a man, he was very gentle as he washed my hair. He ran his long, skinny fingers through my very long hair making sure to get every inch soaked in the foamy shampoo. I had to sigh with complete contentedness. This was absolute heaven. Even more so when he began to delicately wash my body. Even though we were actually making love, he treated my body like a temple. Smiling I simply accepted the much-needed and much-desired male attention. When I was all clean, he told me I should get out and begin drying off while he quickly washed himself. I pouted but he insisted.

Sighing I did as he suggested and dried myself quickly, wrapping my towel around my long hair before sitting on the lid of the toilet. When he stepped out I already had his towel in my hand and was ready to dry him off myself. I wanted to show him how much he meant to me and this was only one of the ways I would do that. When I was satisfied, I left him to dry his hair while I went to find something to wear. Today I opted to wear a pair of ripped-to-hell jeans with my combats, a light blue halter top that came about 2 inches from the top of my jeans. I left my hair down but brought some hair ties.

Tuomas dressed in a pair of holy jeans as well, which I absolutely loved, and a metallica t-shirt. My God he was fucking gorgeous!! Once we were both ready, I grabbed my camera case and left my room and headed downstairs to await the rest of our little party. Marco was outside smoking and gave us a warm smile. A few minutes later Jukka and Emppu joined us. Jukka looked me up and down appreciatively, giving me a cheeky grin as our eyes met.

"So what are the plans for today?" Tuomas questioned, looking at the little elf guitarist

"I don't know. What does everyone want to do?" Jukka questioned, looking right at me

"Well we could take the Lady to the Natural History Museum. Maybe the Covent Garden." Marco suggested as he lit up a cigarette

"Ooooh, the London Zoooooooooo!" Emppu cheerily chimed

I just laughed at his wiryness. The group agreed on trying to make it to all 3. We had to take a bus to the Museum, which is where they decided to go first. Tuomas naturally sat with me with Jukka and Marco sitting behind us and Emppu sitting beside us. I got my camera out and started shooting getting some great shots of the guys. Tuomas grabbed the camera out of my hands and began shooting me. As he started talking to Emppu I got out my video camera to video Marco & Jukka.

"Tell us something, guys." I stated

"What do you want to know?" Marco asked

"Tell us anything. How's the tour going?" I replied

"It's going good. We're having lots of fun, seeing some of the local sights when we have a day or 2 off." Marco replied, laughing slightly

"Do you have anything to add, Jukka?" I asked, turning the camera towards the drummer

"We've been to some great bars here in London. Looking forward to seeing the night life in some of the other cities we visit!" He grinned cheekily

I shook my head and laughed, pressing the pause button. Emppu was looking at me so I smiled at him. Marco seemed to keep a close eye on me for some reason and it kind of bothered me. Emppu got to talking to me about weird shit as we made our way to the Natural Museum. Tuomas kept his hand on my knee. Before long I got to filming Emppu, even though his English wasn't that great, but he didn't seem to care. The little guy just kept talking and talking to me.

We actually had alot of fun at the museum, the shops at the Covent Garden, and zoo. I got alot of great video & photos. The guys were really funny and kept me laughing. We stayed as long as we could before the zoo closed. We'd be leaving for the next venue tomorrow mid-morning but the guys wanted to go out drinking tonight. We decided to head back to the hotel, put up the stuff we'd bought, and get ready for a night out. Tuomas followed me into my room.

I'd put my bags down and turned to look at him. He was looking at me intently. I blushed and looked down as he walked over to me. He suddenly picked me up off the ground. I wrapped my legs around his waist to help make sure I didn't fall. His lips found mine as he walked us to my bed. His hands cupped my ass but he released me when he gently laid me down on the bed. We were kissing and nibbling and caressing when there came a loud knock at the door. He sighed and said it was probably one of the guys letting us know they were all ready to head out.

A/N: Chapter 15 is done. I hoped you enjoyed this chapter!

** KIZI'S POV **

$Transformation \\ Tuomas Holopainen // COMPLETED \\ D162ac0d$

Tuomas ushered me out of the room and downstairs after I grabbed my laptop case. Marco smiled at me but I could tell he suspected something. He was the oldest of the band so maybe it was noticing little things that he was putting 2-and-2 together. Anette was coming out with us this evening. She gave me the stink eye as she saw us walk up. Tuomas noticed the look and placed his hand on my lower back. When Emppu saw me he walked over and began just blabbering on and on about something.

We walked to a bar that was conveniently across the street from the hotel. Jukka was chatting the snobby vocalist while Marco, Tuomas, and I just followed everyone else. We entered the building and quickly found a table in the far corner. I was situated in between Tuomas and Jukka, who was still chatting feverishly with Anette, while Emppu was trying to tell the waitress what he wanted to drink. I had turned my laptop on and was doing a little editing of the video I'd taken of Marco and Jukka yesterday. Mostly to get rid of some excess background sounds and such.

Emppu ordered some food as well as his drink. Tuomas asked me to a pool game, which I accepted just to get away from the nasty looks Anette was giving me, so we got up quickly. He got the table ready while I just watched with fascination. Having the balls set up he stood to his full height and smiled at me. I grinned back as he let me break. It wasn't something that I was very good at but our game was still pretty fun. He had me laughing and all the positive feelings inside me came bubbling to the surface. Then it dawned on me: up until I met Tuomas I never really had any positive feelings inside. Somehow he's broken through and is bringing the real me out.

Jukka had strolled over and was watching our game. After a while he wanted to play too so the pair took turns in playing me. It really was fun and the pair was definitely keeping my mind off Anette and the cold chill she was sending me. Jukka had bought me a shot of something that looked like a sunrise because the bottom of the shot glass was red and the top was an orangey-yellow color. Feeling a bit adventurous, I accepted the offered shot. We clinked shot glasses and downed the liquids. As I was trying to take a shot, Anette walked by and jabbed me in the back with her elbow.

"Hey! That hurt." I stated, furrowing my brow in pain and anger

"Quit whining. People get hurt all the time without whining about it." She shot back

"That may be true but I doubt anyone ever hit them in the back with their elbow!" I retorted, setting my cue stick on the table

"I didn't do it on purpose." She stated, crossing her arms across her chest

"Yes you did. You had more than enough room to get passed me without having to jab me on your way through." I exclaimed, anger starting to get the better of me

"You're just the hired help. Quit your bitching, you worthless little hynda!!" She shouted making the entire band look towards us

{TRANSLATION (Swedish, btw): bitch }

"What the hell did you just call me?" I stated a bit loudly

"Hynda = bitch." She snottily retorted

"The only HYNDA in this bar is you, you stuck up snot!" I retaliated

Tuomas and Jukka had moved closer to us as Marco and Emppu moved closer to the pool table.

"You stupid little whore!" She yelled before slapping me hard across the face

I'd had it. I balled my fist, as I saw before me every single tormentor of my entire life, which connected straight with her nose. Blood immediately gushed from it's source making the taller woman catch some of the blood and then look at me. She rushed at me which made me fall to the ground with a loud "Humph". She slapped me a few times before I somehow got the better of her and rolled us where she was on the bottom. I hit her again but she moved her face and my fist landed with her cheek.

She somehow kicked me which made me yelp. In her anger she began yelling in Swedish which obviously I didn't understand. I slapped her as hard as I possibly could in retaliation. She scratched the living hell out of me for it, giving me a scratch to my left cheek and a few on my left arm. Someone jerked me up and pulled me away before our fighting could go any further. She was still screaming at me when I looked to see Marco pulling her away and outside with Emppu following close behind.

"Onko kultani, okei?" Tuomas asked as he pulled away from me slightly

{TRANSLATION: My darling, are you ok? }

"Huh?!" I asked, confused to what he'd said

"He asked if you were ok. We're concerned because you're shaking pretty bad." Jukka replied, rubbing my back in comfort

"I... I... am so sorry for that." I whispered, hanging my head in shame

"You have nothing to be sorry for. She attacked you and you defended yourself. We should probably get back to the hotel and get you cleaned up, Kulta." Tuomas responded, kissing my forehead

"What does that word mean?" I questioned as we gathered our things

"Kulta? It's a term of endearment meaning 'sweetheart'." Tuomas told me

The walk across the street and up to our rooms was spent in silence. Jukka gave me a tight hug when we made it to my room and made me promise to have breakfast with them in the morning. I smiled at the drummer and nodded my head yes. He bid us a goodnight before retreating to his own room. Tuomas pulled me into the bathroom so he could "doctor" my "wounds". He gently cleaned my scratches with a washcloth and water.

My cheek was going to bruise, he told me, but said if anyone asked then make up some story. He didn't want me lying about it but telling everyone the singer for Nightwish had attacked me would cause alot of problems. He delicately kissed each and every "wound" before pulling me into the main room. Before I could make it to my bag to find my jammies, he pulled me back to him and simply wrapped his arms around me. The hug was very comforting and the soft kiss brought a smile to my face.

He stripped me of my clothes, planting soft kisses here and there, before stripping himself of his own. I blushed as his eyes roamed my body. He gave me a smile before motioning towards the bed. I did as he asked and climbed onto the bed after turning down the covers. It didn't take him but a brief moment to join me in bed. I snuggled up to his warm body as he began planting kisses on my face. Closing my eyes I just wanted to relish in the feeling of his lips on my skin. I think I'm in love.

A/N: Chapter 16 is done. I hoped you enjoyed this chapter!

** KIZI'S POV **

$Transformation \\ Tuomas Holopainen // COMPLETED \\ D162ac0d$

I woke up the next morning to soft kisses. It made me smile, especially when he nuzzled into my neck. His facial hair tickled and I couldn't help but giggle. His body was so warm I couldn't help but pull him closer to me. He moaned into my neck as I started rubbing his back like he usually does to me. It was nice to show him the comfort and affection he's always giving me. To much to my dismay, he pulled away and sat up. Kissing me softly, he reminded me that we had a breakfast date with Jukka. I giggled as I watched him climb out of bed.

After using the restroom, and making out a few minutes at a time, we finally got dressed and made our way down stairs. Jukka and Marco were already seated and sipping their coffee when we arrived. Marco immediately got up and pulled me into a tight hug. He then, with him being the eldest of the group and a father, looked over my wounds assessing how bad I was. I smiled up at the older, taller man and reassured him I was pretty much ok.

Jukka then pulled me into a hug and kissed my non-"injured" cheek. I smiled up at him too before I was allowed to sit down. The waitress brought over menus for Tuomas and myself. The guys chatted in Finnish for a while as I looked over the menu. After the waitress had returned to bring our drinks and take our orders, Jukka asked a question that sort of took me off guard.

"Why are you glowing, Kizi?" He smiled

"I'm glowing? Um, I guess it's because.. I.... I'm happy." I replied, being honest

"You weren't happy in America?" He questioned, furrowing his brow

"No. Honestly I've never really been happy." I confessed, looking away from the drummer

"Everyone is happy in childhood at the least!" Marco replied

Tuomas gave my knee a light squeeze in reassurance.

"I wasn't. My childhood wasn't good." I stated, wanting to look anywhere but at the men before me

"So why are you happy now?" Marco asked, almost like he knew something that he wasn't telling

"I'm doing what I love. I think I've found people who I can honestly call friends. I'm getting to see places I've only dreamed of..." I trailed

Emppu walked up talking in Finnish. Tuomas leaned over and whispered in my ear:

"Am I part of the reason you're happy?"

"Yes. Very much so." I replied quietly before blushing

The tall Finn smiled warmly at me. Emppu had walked away and the bearded man was staring between Tuomas and myself.

"So, tell us Tuomas." Marco finally stated

Tuomas looked over at me like he wanted to know if it was ok to say anything. I just shrugged. This was not something I was good with.

"Kizi and I are together. Ok?" Tuomas confessed

"Really?! That's great, man. Congratulations you two!" Jukka exclaimed, grinning broadly

Relief washed over me. At least some of his band were happy for us! We chatted about us and a little more about my childhood. Both Marco and Jukka seemed... angry, horrified, shocked.... about the little I told them. Tuomas said that there was alot more to my past than what I'd told them but I wasn't quite comfortable in telling them everything right now. They nodded in understanding. We finished up our wonderful breakfast and as we headed back upstairs I definitely felt a little closer to them than I had. Maybe this was really what having friends was truly like!

We were living in an hour or so, so we all had to pack up and get ready to hit the road again. I was nervous at what Emppu was going to think. Anette's opinion didn't mean shit to me but Emppu's did. As I was standing outside awaiting the bus to arrive Jukka came downstairs. He draped an arm around my shoulder and gave me a warm smile. The tall drummer made me laugh at some stupid joke he made right as Marco and Tuomas walked up. When our bus rolled up we boarded and waited for Emppu and Anette. Tuomas asked me to stay up front so I grabbed my laptop.

Anette didn't even give me a second glance as she waltzed by me on the way to her bunk. Emppu plopped down at the "kitchen" table. Marco and Jukka were sitting on the opposite couch from me and Tuomas. They guys chatted amongst themselves for a while until Emppu plopped down in the floor.

"So what's new? How are you liking the tour so far, Kizi?" Emppu asked me

"It's, um, interesting. I'm loving seeing all these new places." I replied, looking up to see Marco and Jukka grinning at me

"What are you 2 smiling about?" Emppu stated, seeing the look his bandmates were giving

"Emppu, Kizi and I are dating." Tuomas explained

"Oh." He quietly replied

"Is that a problem?" Tuomas stated, obviously a bit defensive

"No! I just, um, I'm suprised that you've found someone you like enough to date. That's all. I'm happy for you both." The little man stated, giving us both a very warm smile

The guys started chatting in Finnish so I went back to work. I was editing the footage of the 5 of us when we'd gone out in London. Seeing the video brought a smile to my face. Since I was so into my work and had my headphones on so I wouldn't disturb anyone, I didn't hear anyone talking to me. I nearly jumped out of my skin when my headphones were lifted off my head. The guys were laughing softly at me as I looked to see Tuomas had moved to the end of the couch where I'd been sitting and holding my headphones. I was sitting on the floor because it was easier to work that way. The older man was smiling warmly at me and said that Emppu had been talking to me for almost 5 minutes about the video I was editing.

I blushed and looked down muttering 'sorry' at the short guitarist. Said little man slapped my back playfully. I answered all the questions that he had to re-ask me about what I was doing. He seemed very interested in what I was telling him. We even talked more about me shooting his "guitar teaching" video series. He seemed very excited at the prospect which made me giggle.

Anette had come out to grab something to drink. She gave me the evil eye before retreating back to wherever she was hiding in. I shrugged before finishing piecing my "out-in-London" video together. I was playing it through to make sure the audio and video were synched properly when Tuomas wanted to see it too. Of course the other 2 wanted to see it. I hit pause then got up to find the right cables. The foursome seemed intrigued as to what the hell I was doing when I connected one end of the cable to my laptop and the other end to the LCD TV. I started the video from the beginning which played through the TV.

They all seemed very pleased with how it had turned out and I got permission to post it on the site. This was the first thing I've posted and was very proud of my work. Since Emppu was so excited about trying to do a series of videos on playing guitar, I got up and began digging through one of my bags. I had a green-screen that I thought would enhance the video. When I returned to the front, Jukka looked at me with a weird look.

"It's a green screen." I stated, laughing at the silly Finn

"What do you need a green screen for?" Marco asked

"Well, if Emppu wants to do his own guitar teaching video, it might be beneficial to have a background that doesn't distract from him and his guitar." I stated

"You want to do it now?" Said guitarist asked

"If you want to. I mean it's not like there's anything better to do, right?" I stated

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" The short blond exclaimed making us all laugh

"I need to get the screen securely fashioned somewhere before we start filming. As this is happening, you need to think of what you want to teach today." I told him

"Need some help?" Tuomas asked

"I'll probably need help putting the screen up." I said smiling at the very tall man before me

Thankfully Anette was in her bunk so Tuomas helped me get the screen hung up in the back lounge. Satisfied with our work, I turned to him to thank him. He engulfed me in his long arms and I just relaxed into him. Everyone in his band, with the exception of the ice queen, knew about us. It felt.... good.... especially knowing they all approved. Why that mattered to me I don't know. Tuomas tipped my chin up so that I was looking into gorgeous blue eyes. Gently he placed his lips to mine. Hearing soft laughter we turned to see Emppu in the doorway with his guitar laughing softly.

A/N: Chapter 17 is done. I hoped you enjoyed this chapter!

Posts : 180 Join date : 2011-03-19 Age : 37

Can't beleive you forgot about your own story. Smile

Can't wait to read the next chapter.

** KIZI'S POV **

$Transformation \\ Tuomas Holopainen // COMPLETED \\ D162ac0d$

It had been about a month & a half since Tuomas told his band about us. Every chance we got, Emppu would do some guitar teaching while I filmed him. Tuomas so was kind as to help me translate things. The reaction to the new, revamped website was incredible! Everyone seemed to love it. I even revamped Emppu's website so that I could make a place to post all his training videos! He seemed very pleased with how things were going. Tuomas had me running his website as well.

We were in Italy and had a couple days off. After this we were flying to the States. That made me incredibly nervous, especially seeing as how we'd be in my "hometown" for a few days. Ah, enough of thinking about that. I was in Italy with the man of my dreams and about to go out sight-seeing. Everyone but Anette were coming with us so I grabbed my video case. I had to giggle at my tall lover as he faked being shocked at the behavior of his bandmates as we were waiting for the elevator.

Italy was an amazing country and I was more than excited to get to see the beautiful city of Venice. Emppu had grabbed my camera and was getting shots of me in this city. Tuomas, ever the romantic, wanted pictures of he and I together. Not that I was complaining in the slightest! I wanted proof that these amazing adventures were real and not a figment of my imagination!! I was videotaping Marco and Jukka and laughing softly at the pair.

We were going to go see Basilica San Marco, the Palazzo Ducale, the canal, and even some art galleries. Of course they were doing a little shopping as well! I could hardly contain my excitement at seeing Venice which seemed to make the guys chuckle. They were all so kind in talking to me, or rather my camera, as we strolled about. Tuomas stayed very close to me as we walked about. We had stopped for lunch before heading to one of the galleries. The guys were all chatting away in Finnish so I just watched the scenery before me. I'd reclaimed my camera and was taking pictures of the scenery, the company, and just about anything that peaked my interest enough to photograph.

"Can I see?" Tuomas quietly asked

"Sure! These are the last ones I've taken." I said, slowly scrolling through said photographs

"You're really good! You capture things so well. Maybe we'll have you do the photographs for the next album!" Tuomas stated, blue eyes twinkling, with a smile

I blushed at his compliment.

"You're just being kind." I retorted

"Nonsense, Nukke! You don't give yourself enough credit." He said, gently caressing my cheek

Our food arrived before I could respond. We were sitting out on a patio by the canal. It was just amazing! The food smelled wonderful and looked so good I think I started salivating before I even got one bite in my mouth! Tuomas wanted me to try a bite of his lunch so he slipped his fork in my mouth. I winked at my better half making him smile. Each of the others wanted me to try their meal so it became a sort of game with everyone trying everyone else's food. Quite entertaining if you ask me!

After lunch we made it to the gallery. Most of the guys weren't much into the art but I was. I wasn't very knowledgeable in art by any stretch of the imagination but I could definitely appreciate the various styles and types of artwork. Tuomas just seemed to watch me as I looked around. I guess because I'm the baby of the group and I've never been to such places before is why he wanted to see my reaction to things like this. As we walked around I found one painting that really just blew my mind and I stared at it for who knows how long before Tuomas caught my attention by wrapping his arms around my waist.

$Transformation \\ Tuomas Holopainen // COMPLETED \\ E7eb391c$

"You like this one alot, huh?" He chuckled softly in my ear

"It... it's breath-taking." I replied, resting my hands on top of his as he pulled me closer to him

Finally we walked on seeing more of the art. Eventually we met back up with the rest of our group. Tuomas excused himself and disappeared for a while as the rest of us chatted about the art and stuff. Some guy with a thick accent that I couldn't identify strolled over and tried to engage me in conversation. Instinctively I moved closer to Jukka who happened to be the closest of our group near me. This guy just kept chatting and asking questions even after I told him I was taken. Thankfully Tuomas appeared about that time and pulled me to him. Sensing the unease, he leaned to give me a soft kiss which brought a smile to my face.

Thankfully the weird guy got the message and left me alone. Naturally the rest of the guys had to tease me about my little admirer. It made me blush profusely. I mean seriously, I'm still amazed that Tuomas is attracted to me. Surely I'm not that pretty to have foreign guys all drooling over me and such. We were going out to some neat little.... place... sometime later this evening. Emppu had called to see if Anette wanted to come too, which she apparently agreed to, so we decided to head back to the hotel.

Tuomas was pretty much staying in my room and even Ewo had the hotels take his bags to my room. We set our newly acquired stuff down right after entering our room. I had to use the restroom so I headed there first. When I emerged I found the very tall Finn standing on the balcony smoking. Just watching him made my heart swell. I've never had anyone treat me as well as he does! Smiling, I quietly walked out on the balcony and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Hey Enkeli. Did you have fun today?" He asked, turning around so he could look at me

"Absolutely! This is a beautiful country!" I gushed

"Wait until you really see my country. We're getting some time off in another month or so and I'd love to show you my home." He told me , planting soft kisses on my neck

"I'm looking forward to it." I quietly replied, looking up to his lips then his eyes and back again

He captured my lips with his own. I slid my hands up his sides, back down his sides, then under his shirt. As my fingers made contact with the soft flesh of his belly he moaned into our kiss. He slid his hands around and cupped my ass giving it a squeeze. Now it was my turn to moan. Somehow he got my shirt over my head revealing the purple lacey bra underneath. I closed my eyes as he trailed kisses down my neck, down my throat and all over the exposed parts of my chest. My breathing sped up at the contact.

He picked me up off the ground and I wrapped my legs around his waist to help him keep me from falling. We didn't break the searing kiss as he walked us back into the room. I worked his shirt off revealing the delectable pale flesh underneath. He dropped me on the bed softly and I pulled him down on top of me. As his hands roamed over my body, I worked to get his belt and jeans undone. His kisses, his touches, were definitely turning me on. He had gotten my jeans off and effortlessly slid them down my legs. He smiled appreciatively at me making me blush.

He kissed and nibbled from my thighs all the way up to my lips. His excitement was evident as it pressed into my leg making me giggle slightly. He ran his hand over the lacey fabric of my panties, grinning when he realized how wet I was.

"Someone's enjoying herself." He sort of purred in my ear

"I want you." I replied biting my lip

"Likaa tyttö is very needy today, huh?" He growled back

{TRANSLATION: Dirty girl }

"Please baby..... " I moaned bringing a wide grin to his face

"How bad do you want it?" He stated before nibbling my neck

I moved his hand back down to my womanhood and arched my back. He kissed me passionately before sitting up and sliding his jeans and boxers off. Looking him up and down I licked my lips. He returned the favor by sliding my panties off and delving his warm, wet tongue in my womanly folds. I nearly lost it right there! He flicked the small, erect bud making me instantly buck up into him. He worked me into an absolute frenzy before sitting up. I was all but panting as he kissed his way up my body.

"Are you ready, Makeiseni" He lustfully asked in my ear, voice very deep

{TRANSLATION: My sweet }

I answered by pulling him into a heated kiss. He was still very gentle with me, with this being only our second time having sex. Once he was fully inside me, he pulled out and rammed into me again. I bucked my hips up to meet his thrusts. He sucked one of my nipples into his mouth and flicked his tongue over the hardened bud. It didn't take long for the intense fire to build inside. I screamed out his name which was enough to send him over the edge. As he shot his seed, he bit down on my shoulder making me moan again.

Shortly after we came down from the high of our encounter we could hear Marco outside our door yelling,

"If you're done fornicating, we'll be going out in about 20 minutes!"

I blushed a bright red but Tuomas simply stated we'd meet them downstairs. He turned to me and gave me a passionate kiss. Oh how I'm glad he's mine! He dressed me, kissing me as he did so but wouldn't allow me to dress him in return. Jukka was waiting by the elevators when we began to make our way downstairs. He just gave us a cheeky grin. I blushed when I realized some of his bandmembers had actually heard us "fornicating"!!

A/N: Chapter 18 is done. I hoped you enjoyed this chapter!

** KIZI'S POV **

$Transformation \\ Tuomas Holopainen // COMPLETED \\ D162ac0d$

On our way through the lobby, Tuomas stopped at the front desk. He spoke quietly to the brunette behind the counter which ended in her telling him it would be no problem. I cocked my eyebrow at him which only made him laugh. Everyone was there already including Anette. I'd brought my camera case with me just so I could continue to document things. Anette wouldn't even acknowledge my presence. Oh well. Her loss!

The place we went to was... different. It wasn't really a bar, it wasn't just a cafe, it wasn't really a club. We had a very nice dinner. I even had my very first taste of wine. Well, it was a whole glass but still. We sat there listening to the musicians as they played on the street. As the sun began setting, I grabbed my camera and snapped away catching some of the prettiest shadows on the buildings around us. Desert was absolutely delectable and rich.

Everything was going great until Tuomas leaned over and kissed me. I grinned at him, almost forgetting everything around us. Anette said something in Swedish which made Marco give her a stern look. We paid her no attention and that seemed to piss her off a bit. Not that I really cared what the hell pissed her off. He kissed me again which elicited another round of Swedish babble from the vocalist.

"Problems?" Marco stated

"I wondered how long it would be before she was fucking one of you! Luffare! " Anette exclaimed, huffing

{TRANSLATION: tramp! }

"For your information...." I started

I quickly found myself cut off.

"I didn't say anything to you! You little band förstöra luffare." She spat icily at me

{TRANSLATION: band wrecking tramp. }

"What the hell did I ever do to you?!!" I demanded angrily

"Anette, Kizi and I are dating. Get used to it. Whatever stupid problem you have with her, you need to get the hell over it." Tuomas stated, sticking up for me and our relationship

"WHAT?! Why are you dating this little harlot?" She exclaimed, obviously shocked

"Because I have taken the time to get to know her. Don't call her a harlot again." Tuomas responded calmly

There was a subtle note in his voice that told her to back off. She didn't listen and kept this arguement on. Tuomas didn't seem to get angry but Marco and Jukka sure as hell did. I felt bad because it seemed like I was causing problems in the band. That's not what I wanted. Tuomas sensed my feelings so he grabbed my hand and led me away from the table we were all sitting at.

He wrapped me in his muscular arms and pulled me to him. I was trying so hard to not cry but wasn't succeeding very well. He, obviously, wanted to know what was wrong. I told him what I'd been thinking a few minutes ago. He was so sweet, he told me not to worry about that. Something about him was so comforting and honest that I just had to believe him. He kissed me again, this time a little more passionately than before.

We finally made it back to our table. Anette looked incredibly pissed but I didn't care much. Tuomas was my boyfriend and if she couldn't handle that then it was her fucking problem! I was taking pictures of the whole band, the ice queen included, as everyone sat around being very relaxed and enjoying their evening. We were all sipping wine and just sitting around. Grinning, I got my video camera out and began filming.

"Tuomas, tell us something." I stated

"Well I'm sitting in a Venice cafe with the band listening to some local musicians playing, drinking some nice wine, and staring at one of the most beautiful women in the world." He stated, giving me one of those heart-melting smiles

I blushed behind the camera although I know he could see it. Marco laughed slightly which made me blush even more.

"Marcoooooooo. What's shakin' bacon?" I asked making him laugh

"Well, I'm sittin here in the same Venice cafe as Tuomas and the rest of the guys sharing a really nice bottle of wine after an exquisite meal." Marco replied

"Is there anything that you're excited to see here in Venice or anything extraordinary that you've seen so far?" I asked

"Italy is a beautiful country. The architecture is amazing. We're going sightseeing tomorrow so I'm looking forward to seeing more of the architecture." He thoughtfully replied

I turned my camera to Jukka who was making weird faces at Marco. Tuomas had rested his hand upon my upper thigh. I had to smile at him.

"Jukka, what's up?" I questioned making Anette roll her eyes

"I'm enjoy this wine. Very tasty. The band that's playing is pretty good. I'm looking forward to trying some of the sweets that this restaraunt offers." He told me as Ewo arrived

"Emppu..... how are you liking Italy?" I asked, turning my camera to the small guitarist

"It's beautiful! The food is amazing!" He laughed, making the whole table laugh

Ewo ordered something as everyone else got to chatting in Finnish. Tuomas leaned over and asked if I wanted some desert. Thinking for a moment, I grinned up at him. He smiled back at me then leaned over and kissed me before waving our waitress back over to order. I'm not quite sure what he ordered but what they brought out was big enough for 4-6 people to eat from! It was like a chocolate cake with this creamy middle drizzled with a hot chocolate sauce. Emppu's eyes went wide when he saw what was delivered. Lucky for him they also delivered 6 plates for everyone to eat off of.

We were all having a good time, eating this decadent desert, sipping the wine, and talking about all sorts of random shit. By the time the desert was gone, Tuomas asked if I wanted to take a stroll before heading back to the hotel. I grinned up at the tall man which made him smile too. As I put up my equipment he told the group what we were doing. They all bid us good night and said they'd see us tomorrow on the bus. Tuomas slipped his hand in mine as we leisurely walked along taking in the sights, sounds, and smells that were all around us.

A/N: Chapter 19 is done. I hoped you enjoyed this chapter!

** KIZI'S POV **

$Transformation \\ Tuomas Holopainen // COMPLETED \\ D162ac0d$

I slipped out of my shoes and put my bag down when we entered our room. At first I didn't notice the big package that was sitting by the dresser. When I came out of the bathroom, my eyes finally landed on it. Tuomas was sitting on the bed apparently waiting for me. I looked between him and the mysterious package. He smiled and nodded towards it. I cautiously made my way to where it was leaning and began taking whatever it was inside the packaging out. When it was free from the cardboard confinement, I turned it around and gasped. It was the painting I fell in love with at the art gallery today!

"OH MY GOD! Where did you.... how did you..... oh my God!" I exclaimed bringing a heart-warming smile to his face

"Your whole face lit up when you saw this at the gallery. It lit up again when you saw it here. I just had to buy it for you." He stated, pulling me into his arms

"This had to cost you a fortune! You didn't have to do this, really." I replied making him chuckle

"Don't worry about any of that. You're worth it." He quietly said into my ear

This simple gesture, even if it was an expensive gesture, brought tears to my eyes. He of course noticed immediately and steered us towards the bed. Sitting us down he questioned why I was upset. I chuckled nervously and told him that I'd never really had a boyfriend before or anyone who bought me stuff without wanting or expecting anything in return. It seemed to make him sad but he was so supportive.

"Täydellinen enkelini, I'm not like most men these days. I like to spoil my partner, to show her how much she means to me. And you definitely mean more to me than anyone I've ever dated or thought of dating before." He whispered in my ear

{TRANSLATION: My perfect angel }

"I wish I could do more for you." I whispered back

He lifted my chin up so that I was staring into those magnificent ocean blue eyes of his. He planted a soft kiss on my lips before speaking.

"Enkeli, don't talk like that. I love the talks we have, watching you work your media magic, watching how excited you get over the little things, watching as you see or discover something you've never seen before. I love watching as you slowly come out of your shell. The time I get to spend with you is as precious to me as the time I spend on stage." He told me

"You mean so much to me, Tuomas!" I stated, eyes getting teary again

"Shh, Kulta, I'm not going anywhere. I'm yours, ok? I didn't run away when you told me about your past. I'm here for the long run." He told me, his own eyes teary

He kissed me again this time a little harder. I suddenly wanted to cook for him. That was one positive thing I did learn growing up. He helped me out of my clothes and I did the best for him seeing as how he didn't want to let me do anything. I was laying down on my back and watched him as he slowly slid out of his own clothes. His beautiful eyes never left mine as he put on this show for me or when he crawled up the bed to kiss me. I ran my hands through his soft wavy locks, coming around to cup his face.

He laid down and pulled me to him. I rested my head on his shoulder and inhaled his scent. This was most definitely my favorite scent in the entire world! We laid there for a while neither of us able to go to sleep. I was thinking of what kinds of things I could cook for him.

"Tuomas?" I asked

"Yes, Nukke?" He replied as he rubbed my back

"Is there anyone that you know who could teach me to cook Finnish food?" I questioned

"You want to learn to cook Finnish cuisine? I'm sure my Mom would be more than happy to teach you." He stated chuckling softly

"Mmmkay." I moaned as I tried to stifle a yawn

He chuckled as we both slowly slipped into sleep.

The flight to Dallas didn't seem as long as when I was flying into Helsinki. Maybe that's because of the company I was with! We slept a little we chatted away. I knew we were going to be tired when we landed but I didn't care. We were talking about the 'Lord of the Rings', both the books and the movies, and what we liked & didn't like about them. I don't think people really understand the beauty of this man's imagination and ideations. As I was yawning he wrapped his arm around me allowing me to lay my head on his shoulder. It was more of a catnap than anything else.

When we finally landed, everyone seemed in decent spirits even though they were very tired from the long flight. We headed straight to the hotel where most of them were talking about going into a sauna. I wasn't sure about all that so I opted to go swimming. Jukka tried very hard to convince me to hit the sauna with them but I still opted to simply go swimming. Wilska, Ewo, and Tero were all hitting the sauna too so it would have been doubly weird for me. The guys all left so I slipped into a newly acquired bathing suit:
$Transformation \\ Tuomas Holopainen // COMPLETED \\ 850ea294$

I grabbed a robe and towel, as well as my room key, and headed down to the hotel swimming pool. It was pretty cool because they had an indoor and outdoor pool. You could swim underneath a wall to go from the outdoor to indoor pool. Taking a deep breath, I slipped out of the robe and walked down the stairs into the cool water. The weather was fabulous, it was sunny and a great 85 or so degrees outside with a slight wind blowing. I was swimming at the bottom of the pool and didn't realize everyone had convened here as well. Surfacing, I found myself face-to-face with Jukka. Amazingly he didn't have his "trademark" bandana on!

"Hey Kizi! We figured you would have holed yourself up in your room." He smiled at me

"Nope, the water was calling to me." I laughed before attaching myself to his back while he swimmed to where everyone had just jumped in

Tuomas and Marco looked over at me and smiled. Most of the group were chatting in Finnish so I let go of my ride and began swimming to the other side of the pool. One of the pool staff had brought me something to drink so I climbed out of the pool to taste it. Sitting in the lounger I noticed someone had brought my camera case downstairs. Grinning I got my camera out and began photographing the guys while they were being complete dorks. It really was cute! Anette finally made her way downstairs and joined the boys in the pool.

After getting a few more pictures, I decided to head to the outside portion of the pool. Besides I figured staying as far away from Anette as I could was probably the best idea. I was happily floating around minding my own business when some real trouble started. Some kids from my school were there and seemed to notice me. All I wanted was to just shrink away and find the guys. As I was starting to swim to the wall to get into the indoor side of the pool, someone grabbed my leg from under the water.

Panic set in as I tried to swim up for air. Said person would not let go and I began kicking around to get them to unhand me. At some point my foot landed with their face and he immediately let go of me. I swam for air, taking in several very deep breaths!

"Bitch, that wasn't called for!" He screamed at me

"Then you shouldn't have tried to fucking drown me!" I yelled back

"Who the hell do you think you're talking to, bitch?" He stated angrily

"A prick who's not worth the breath of this argument." I retaliated, turning to swim towards my safety net

"Oh hell no you worthless whore!" He screamed back

Luckily I was a tad bit faster and made it under the wall. Most of the guys were at the deep end. I was swimming my way to get to the stairs when Mike, my tormentor, grabbed me again. He cussed at me, called me names and then slapped me hard across the face when I tried to push him away.

"Saa fuck pois tyttöystävältäni! " Tuomas yelled, having already started making his way to us when he heard the guy yelling at me

{TRANSLATION: Get the fuck away from my girlfriend! }

"Who the hell are you and why do I care what you just said?" Mike stated, letting go of me and turning his attention towards Tuomas

Jukka wrapped me in his arms as he ushered me out of the pool.

"You come near my girlfriend again and you're going to have some serious problems." Tuomas growled back

"What the fuck are you gonna do, you foreign freak?" Mike taunted

"It's not just what he'll do. You've got a whole band of real men here, boy, who will fuck you up if you come near her again." Marco retorted, coming to a stop by his friend and bandmate

Emppu was on the other side of Tuomas while Tero, Wilska, and Ewo finished the circle around Mike. Anette was at the other end of the pool watching the scene before us.

"Don't threaten me, motherfucker!" Mike said, moving closer to Marco

Words were screamed, threats made. Finally one of the pool help went to get the management. I had to explain how the arguement started. Lucky for us they took our side and made Mike and company leave the pool area leave. I was shaking so bad in Jukka's embrace that the guys thought they were going to have to call an ambulance. Something told me this was not the last I'd be seeing of Mike and them and I shuddered at the thought.

Tuomas had quickly made his way to me when the hotel management arrived and wrapped me up in his long arms. He couldn't quit kissing me; my face, my lips, my forehead, my hands, my neck. The rest of our group had gathered around me, with the exception of Anette, to see if I was alright. I was still shaking so Tuomas told them he was taking me to my room. Jukka promised to bring the rest of my stuff to me. I knew Tuomas wanted to know about Mike and I was dreading the conversation.

Once in the safety of our room, he made me tell him all about Mike and what had transpired in the pool today. My cheek was going to bruise much like it did when I got into the fight with their vocalist. Someone had called him to see if we wanted to go out tonight so he agreed. He didn't want me hiding in the room in fear so he made me promise to go out with them. A little while later I had finally quit shaking.

"Thank you." I whispered into his neck

"Kulta, I care about you. I'm not going to let anyone treat you that way." He quietly replied

"Still. You don't have to fight someone for me." I retorted

"If they mess with my girlfriend I do. That's not how you treat women. He's lucky the rest of the guys didn't beat him to death for hitting you." He told me which made me chuckle a bit

The guys were most definitely angry about that! I'm pretty sure Marco and Wilska were trying to kill him with the looks they were shooting Mike!

A/N: Chapter 20 is done. I hoped you enjoyed this chapter!

Posts : 180 Join date : 2011-03-19 Age : 37

Is Mike going to get his ass kicked in a future chapter?

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