The Aviators - M Shadows/Val Fic - NC-17

ahh just when it was gettin good lol

I figured I'd leave that to someone else.

Good he can wait, since most men won't.

Part Ten - "Say my name."

“Val?”

I turn my face slowly to meet Matt’s questioning gaze. We lay side by side on the rumpled bed covers, Matt to my left. He lazily runs his left palm over my stomach, fingertips lightly teasing my still sensitive flesh. Sweat coats my skin, the scent of it hanging subtly between us. Sheen of perspiration covers Matt’s naked body as well, and I feel this urge to stroke my hand over his chest. But, I don’t...because he’s spoken my name.

I run my tongue over my lips, breathing out shakily. “Yes, Master?”

Matt’s brow creases slightly in thought; his eyes flicker on mine. “You ‘kay?”

Blinking at him, I wonder at the question. I don’t think I’ve given him any indication that I would be other than alright. I’m still in a daze. All my nerve endings are tingling from the sensations that Matt has drawn from my body. Still, he’s expecting an answer; I can see the expectancy in his expression.

Slowly, I close a hand over his, which is resting against the space beneath my navel. He narrows his gaze, pressing down a little. I leave my hand over his as I meet his eyes, breathing slowly.

“Yeah, I’m okay, Master.”

Matt nods a little then shifts so he’s laying more on his side, propping his torso up, leaning on his right elbow. This brings his face closer to mine, prompting me to shrink back from him. The corners of his lips twitch before he leans his head down over my stomach and presses them to the spot where his hand is resting.

I gasp at the contact and raise my lower torso to his mouth. A rumbling sound erupts from the back of his throat as he places a firm hand against my pubic bone. Pressing back down into the mattress, I avert my eyes. He returns to trailing his lips over the thin skin just above my mound.

The muscles of my stomach tighten and I feel a moistening down below. It’s unsettling...yeah, I know this isn’t the first time we’ve done this, but I can’t help my reactions...I pull away, shuffling toward my side of the bed.

Matt sighs and rests his forehead against the covers, before looking at me. I glance at him, but am unable to read his expression. His hazel eyes are bright, intense. I bite my lip uncertain whether I should say something or not. He sighs again and speaks before I get a chance to.

“I’m not that bad, am I?”

I stare at him then a soft giggle bubbles up inside me, I think of what he has just done in the past half an hour. The pleasure he has already made me feel. His own pleasure. Shaking my head I reach out to take his hand and bring it to rest between my legs. He smirks, dipping his long middle finger in the moisture that is building there. Tilting my head back, I moan. He slides the finger into me, stroking in a single strong motion.

“Matt-Master...” my voice comes out in a strangled gasp. I don’t even realise that I almost say his name; he does though and he pauses for a split second before turning my face to his and staring pointedly at me.

“What did you say?” his voice holds a rough edge.

Screwing up my face, I try to find an answer. “I...I’m not sure...?”

Matt groans and drags his free hand through his hair. “Valary.”

“Um...” I tremble, moving slightly, my arousal now evident as I clench on the finger that is still inside me. I can’t concentrate; he’s pressing the tip of his finger against my spot.

His lips quirk as he twists the digit firmly. “Um, what, Val?”

Grasping at his wrist, I open my mouth to respond. He gives a low chuckle as he brushes his finger against my spot again. I whine, his name slipping past my lips.

His smile widens. “You said it again.”

“What...?”

He continues stroking me from inside as he leans his mouth close to my ear and whispers, “My name. Say it again.”

I stare up at him as he moves his body, bracing it over mine, his finger hooking into me. His lips curve in a teasing grin as he plunges the finger in and out firmly. I grab at his shoulders, absently noting how the muscles flex as he tenses. He nibbles at my ear then nuzzles against my cheek.

“Say it.” He’s very insistent; I have to be honest, I like that about him. Uh...focus... He hooks his finger hard against my spot; I whimper, straining to keep anchored.

He nips at my earlobe and repeats harshly, “Say my name.” At the same time he brushes his thumb over the sensitive spot within the moist folds.

All my muscles seize as a tingling develops at the base of my spine. I shudder, then cry out as it all just rushes over me, as if I’m about to drown.

“Matt!” My voice cracks on his name as I release, writhing beneath his body.

He withdraws his finger and sticks it in his mouth, tasting my juices, an expression of wonderment passing across his features. Relaxing back against the pillows, I observe his actions. He pulls his finger from his mouth with a pop noise and pins me with a look. He’s not smiling now; I wait.

He licks at his lips then crawls up so he’s straddling my hips. His hard-on presses against my left thigh. I swallow hard placing my hands against his chest. Matt catches hold of my left hand, turning it palm-up and presses his lips to it tenderly.

I tremble sliding my right hand into his hair, dragging my fingers through the silken strands. He rumbles against my skin and slides his other hand along my side, down my thigh pulling my leg up on his hip. Shivering I meet his eyes; they’re burning intensely wanting something, but also wanting to give something.

Matt props his forehead against mine his breath warm against my face. “You ready?”

I barely nod in acknowledgement, but even if my brain can’t focus, my body can. Bucking my hips, and clutching at his body I am so ready for him. A gasp escapes me as he enters in a single swift motion. Clenching along his length I moan out loud clutching at his sweaty torso. He groans as he moves into me his eyes locking with mine, heat emanating from his stare.

I tremble clawing at his back; he growls moving strongly against me, plunging in and out of my body taking his pleasure. Yet, at each thrust he moves into my centre causing a deep thrill to spread through my body. The sensation is intense and I feel like the world might end at any moment.

Matt pauses for a mere second staring into my eyes, perhaps judging whether I am completely with him on this. I nod, even though I’m not really sure why I do. He smiles at my movement and then with one single powerful thrust, he sends me flying into the abyss. Crying out, I claw at his back, fingers slippery on the sweat, and my whole body seems to rock against his as I let go of everything.

I gasp out his name, yet it is barely intelligible as he groans against my neck, his own release imminent. He breathes hard against my neck, carefully withdrawing, sitting up slightly and giving me a look. Knowing exactly what he needs, I grip the shaft in my hands and stroke it firmly. His breath quickens, and gets shallow; I speed up my motions, giving the head a squeeze whilst stroking my thumb over his ball sac.

He groans, “Fuck...I’m close...”

I peek up into his face. Then as he lifts his body on his knees, I shuffle down the bed and enclose the head with my mouth. It’s warm and firm, the musty taste against my tongue is not unpleasant. I suck firmly. That’s all it takes, I guess. Just the feel of my mouth on his cock is enough to finish him.

Matt grunts, and moves to my mouth just as he releases, strings of come spilling into my open mouth. Moaning, I swallow what goes down my throat, the rest dribbling from my lips and down my chin. Matt chuckles and, using his thumb, strokes it along my bottom lip, wiping it away.

I breathe deeply gazing up into his eyes. He smiles and leans in to cover my mouth with his, licking away the taste of his pleasure. I slide my hands into his hair; he rumbles low then draws back and lies on his side. I look at him. He smiles and caresses my cheek, and then he stretches and yawns with a crack of his jaw.

“Gonna go wash. Be right back.” He strokes the tips of his fingers along my bottom lip before pushing up off the bed and heading for the en suite.

I watch him go, the door clicking shut behind him then I lay back; just need to recover from that session and then I’ll probably be able to think again. Smiling to myself, I close my eyes and just let myself drift, relaxing and waiting in the aftermath, eventually falling asleep, long before Matt finishes in the shower...

Demanding isn't he?

Ok I just want to let you know that I am reading this, but I haven't got time to read the latest update just now, but I will indeed read when I have some more time, just bear with me lol xoxox

WOW - I am totally speechless, that was so erotic and completely sensual Bravo my dear xoxox

Thank you , yeh...I always worry my sexual scenes aren't up to scratch....

haha Kricket, yes he is. I love me some demanding Shadows.


Part Eleven - "Val, it's important you talk to me right now."

Matt’s like a log when he sleeps, he doesn’t move much and if you push him he just rolls right back into place. Not that I’m in any position to push him. I wake to find myself lying within the circle of his muscular arms, his soft snores letting me know he’s still deeply asleep.

I blink slowly, wondering for a second how I got here, and then I remember that after Matt had his shower he collapsed next to me and promptly fell asleep. He’d woken me as he fell into bed; I’d blinked at him a few times before sliding back into sleep. Smiling at that thought, I snuggle down and close my eyes again, knowing there’s no point in trying to get up, not for a little while longer. So, might as well sleep a little more.

Anyway, it’s a Saturday...Matt likes to get a lie-in, considering he hasn’t had much of a chance lately. And considering the guys will be coming over again for a big brainstorming session in the afternoon, I’m sure he’ll want to be well rested for then.

Speaking of the guys, I’m looking forward to them coming over too. Matt says Michelle will probably come over with Brian. A part of me is happy about that, another little part is nervous. I mean, sure it’s better between us now after that chat we had yesterday...but, it was just yesterday. I’m still not used to being...near her, if that makes any sense. I mean, heck...it’s been less than 24 hours...

I sigh and turn to nuzzle into Matt’s chest. He stirs, mumbling in his sleep, arms tightening around my body. I tilt my head trying to listen to hear if I can decipher any distinct words in his sleep-filled speech. I catch a few disconnected words and then something unexpected...

He mumbles a little louder, “No, you can’t...I love...” his voice trails off, but it leaves me feeling a little numb. He loves...loves who?

I squeeze my eyes shut and press closer to his warm, solid body. The closeness is something I crave. Strange, considering I have never felt this way for any other master I have been with. Matt does things to me no other man ever has before. I’m sure I’ve told you that before. But, it does bear repeating.

I lie there, just listening. Listening to his breaths; listening to the birds singing out in the trees. A light sea breeze moves through the leaves of the trees, low and soothing. Shifting a little, I curl more into his body and close my eyes.

The peace is suddenly split by the ringing of the phone. Matt’s eyes fly open and he sits up fast. I have to move away abruptly to avoid getting hit in the side of the face.

“What...the phone...Val.” Matt’s voice is raspier than usual, still edged with sleep.

I scramble out of bed and grab at the phone which is still ringing furiously. He sits there with his hands propping his body up; the sheets slide down a little exposing the top half of his deathbat tattoo.

I answer the call tentatively; I rarely pick up when the phone rings. “Hello? Sanders’ phone.”

I frown at the voice on the other end. It’s a male voice, deep and commanding, not like Matt’s...a lot scarier. Reminds me of several men I’ve met in my lifetime. “Um, who is this? Uh...well...I...can’t tell you that...”

Matt leans forward giving me a questioning look and mouthing firmly, “Who is it?”

I shake my head at him and mouth back, “Don’t know.” I return to the caller. “Who are you? No....who are you?”

Matt’s brow furrows into an anxious scowl and he waves his hand at me. “Give me the phone.”

I shiver; something about the caller gives me chills. So, I don’t hesitate at Matt’s order and hand him the phone, before rubbing at my bare arms.

Matt sends me a small smile, and then frowns once more his voice a dangerous rumble as he speaks into the phone. “Who’re you, and what do you want?”

The guy must have said something to upset him, because Matt’s face darkens and he glances at me, tilting his head toward the door. I blink. He stares pointedly toward the doorway. I get the hint and, grabbing a T-shirt that’s hanging over the back of a chair; I head out of the room.

Making my way to the spare room, I pause just in time to hear Matt’s distinctive roar rattle the glasses in the hallway cabinet.

“You can’t fucking do that!”

I shiver but decide I don’t want to hear any more and shut myself into the spare room, quickly tugging the T-shirt on over my head. Then I climb onto the double bed and wrap my arms around my knees and bury my face against them.

I’m not sure how long I sit there for but the next thing I hear is the door opening and footsteps as Matt enters the room.

“Hey, Val?”

I peer over my arms at him and give a wan smile. “Hey...”

He moves to sit on the edge of the bed, smoothing a hand over the covers. I watch him, the muscles in his arm tightening a little. He meets my gaze and smiles faintly before letting out a heavy sigh.

“Fuck. Some people.” He smears his free hand over his jaw. I lift an eyebrow at him, wondering whether he’s about to tell me what that call was about. He grunts and scratches at his head. “Tell me something, Val.”

I nod slowly unsure of where he’s heading with this but ready to tell him anything. Matt sucks at his tongue before going on. “Have you heard of The Guild?”

A chill makes its way down my spine. I haven’t heard those two words in a long while. Practically forgotten them. Being with Matt seems to have put a cocoon around me, sheltering me from everything before. The first time I heard those words...well; the first time was back when I was first abandoned by my family. Screwing up my face, I avert my gaze and stare at the bedspread, finding the diamond pattern particularly fascinating.

Matt shifts his weight and sighs. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

I nod without looking at him. Next thing he’s up on the bed fully and has my face in his hands.

“Val, it’s important you talk to me right now.”

I tremble and try to pull back. He tightens his grip and speaks insistently. “Val, I’m serious. Look at me.”

Lifting my eyes to his I see many different emotions playing across his features. I swallow hard, before whispering, “What is there to talk about, Master?”

Matt groans and releases me, rubbing his hands over his face. “That man. He says he’s from that...Guild...whatever.”

I bite my lip. “So?”

“So? So?” Matt growls. “Fuck, Val. What is it?”

“What’s what?”

“The Guild? What the fuck is it? And what fucking rights do they have?”

I bite my lip harder and shake my head. I can’t really remember; I only ever went to The Guild once. When I was...I halt that thought and look at him.

“I don’t know. All I know is that that’s where I was taken before I became a slave.” I hear the quiver in my voice and have this sudden urge to burst into tears. I squeeze my eyes shut tight and start shaking my head. “I don’t know anything about them, really...” I look up into his bright stare, there are golden flecks in the irises and they seem to gleam beneath the dim light. “Why?”

Matt lifts a hand and absently plays with a strand of my hair. “The guy said he was from The Guild and that he was going to come round and check up on you...on us, make sure you’re...behaving yourself.”

I tremble and take a deep breath. “That doesn’t sound bad?”

Matt gives me a sceptical look. “Fuck, it was the way he said it, like he had the God given right to just barge in here and check you out, like you’re some piece of fucking meat.”

I lower my head and murmur, “That’s what they all think at The Guild. We’re good for nothing but fucking.”

Matt grimaces almost as if he’s in pain. “That’s a bit...cold.”

Shrugging, I run a thumb along the hem of my T-shirt. Actually, it’s one of Matt’s, but it was the closest one I could grab. The material is soft against my skin, comfortable. I shift a little and peek up at him again. Matt sighs and flops back against the mattress, making it dip beneath the both of us.

I continue looking at him, and then ask quietly, “Did he say when he’s coming?”

Matt blinks; a tiny smirk twitches at the corners of his mouth. “I hope he doesn’t fucking come...that’d be a right turn off.”

A joke. I giggle lightly. “No...Master...when is he-”

“He didn’t say.” Matt’s voice becomes serious once more. “Any time from today ‘til the end of the week.” He grumbles sounding a little pissed. “Just gonna come barging in...” His voice trails off and he slaps his palm down against the covers, frustration evident in the gesture.

I shuffle close to him and hesitantly run my fingers through his hair. His eyes dart to my face and a warm smile curves his lips upwards, and those damn dimples appear. He lifts a hand and encircles my wrist tenderly, pulling my hand down to his mouth and pressing his lips to my palm. A shiver runs through my body. He smiles more at me, and then sits up and pulls me into his arms, nuzzling against the back of my neck, inhaling deeply.

“You smell nice...”

Blushing, I murmur an unintelligible response. “Uhuh...”

He chuckles then releases me, standing up. “Right...” He looks over to the night stand, at the clock there. “Breakfast time.”

I look as well. It’s almost noon. “Uh...we slept in late...”

Matt grins at me. “Exactly how I like it.”

I look toward the window. “When are the guys coming around, Master?”

Matt follows my gaze, staring out at the clear blue sky. “Around one.”

I nod, biting my lip. “Do you want me to prepare anything for them?”

He looks back at me, brow furrowing. Then he appears to come to a decision. “No. Brian’s bringing Chelle. I think she wants you two to hang out. Go shopping maybe.”

I stare at him, thoughts swirling in my mind. Shopping? With my twin? Doing normal things like any other normal chick; I guess I can handle that. Turning my face away, I pretend to be shy over it. Matt sits down again and touches his fingertips to my chin, lifting it.

“Hey. It’ll be cool. You don’t wanna sit around and listen to us, it gets kinda boring.”

I shake my head, meeting his eyes. “With Jimmy there, master? It never gets boring.”

Matt laughs out loud at my comment. “True. Jimmy’s a fucking riot.” He rubs his thumb over my cheek bone. “Still, you need to get out of this house. Do something fun.”

The fact that Matt cares that I have fun, is a little overwhelming. No one, and I seriously mean no one, ever gave a shit before. Particularly the people at The Guild. Damn, after all this time not thinking about those people...I can’t stop now. Maybe I do need to do something even if it’s just to get my mind off that.

Smiling up at Matt, I finally decide to agree with his judgement. “Alright...sounds okay, Master.”

“Good. Well, we’d better have breakfast...or lunch...”

Giggling, I get up off the bed. “I think they call that brunch?”

Matt shrugs and turns to walk out of the room. I watch him go then, smiling to myself, follow him out.

* * * * *

The doorbell rings. I look up from my journal, where I’m scribbling away. Matt’s sitting next to me, an arm draped casually around my shoulders, whilst he’s flicking through the channels his eyes fixated on the television. He glances down at me.

“Go and get that, will you.”

I nod, setting my journal to the side and get up to answer the door. Before I can open it fully, I almost get bowled over as Jimmy comes barrelling in with a wild yodel.

“The Rev is in the house, motherfucker!”

I shriek and jump back, holding my hand to my heart. “Jesus!”

He looks at me. “Huh? Where? I don’t see him?”

I can’t help but giggle at the confusion on his face. “Christ...Jimmy...”

“I’m here too!” Johnny strolls in after the drummer.

The Rev still looks anxious. “Valary, where is he?”

“Where is who, dumbass?” Matt’s up off the couch and comes over to stand behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist while giving his friend a weird look.

I catch the look from the corner of my eyes and mouth to him, “Told you it’s not boring.”

Matt smirks down at me then back at the drummer. “Well?”

“Jesus. Val yelled ‘Jesus’ when I ran in. So, where is he?”

I see Matt roll his eyes as he laughs. “Damn, Jimbo. You almost ran into her...she yelled ‘Jesus’ ‘cause you scared her.”

“Ooooooooooooh...right. Sorry, short stuff.”

I blush and murmur in reply. “It’s okay, sir...”

Matt rolls his eyes again. “Come on. Close the door, short shit.” He must mean Johnny; obviously he thinks so too, because the bassist turns and shuts the door.

“Oh, Syn said he and Chelle will be a half an hour late, ‘cause they had to go get something first.” Jimmy waltzes through to the living room.

I watch his tall frame then look up at Matt, then glancing toward the kitchen. “Should I-”

“No. Come sit with us,” Matt strokes my arm gently then steers me back into the room after the drummer. Johnny follows us in, as Matt adds quietly, “We’ll wait for Brian in here.”

“Okay.” I let him lead me into the room, where Jimmy and Johnny have commandeered the television and are randomly flipping through channels, making comments about whatever they land on.

Matt pulls me down on the couch next to him and we just watch them in silence, wiling away the minutes until he has to start thinking about work, and I...well...I get to hang out with my sister. I can’t wait...I guess.

Well, it can’t be too bad. I’ll just have to wait and see. Just...wait...

i like it when val stands her ground
and as usual i cannot wait for the next chapter

oh now I am scared that Guild will take everything away from Val by forcing her to leave, and then there is the fact that Matt had said I love...........who does he love? God I sound like Val haha - I can't wait to read more as always xoxox

Part Twelve - "Wish we could've done this a long time ago."

“So, you had to go pick Zacky up? Why the hell did that take half an hour?”

Brian, Michelle and Zacky have just got here and Jimmy is heckling the lead guitarist over the length of time it took them. Brian brushes him off with a shake of his head.

Zacky answers the question though with a scowl on his face. “I was at my aunt’s in Long Beach. I almost forgot about today. Syn called me this morning to remind me.”

Matt and I listen in neither of us commenting as the drummer raises his eyebrows and announces, “That’s not an excuse. I mean, fuck...I don’t use visiting my aunt as an excuse to forget.”

“Shut up, Rev. Your aunt’s dead.” Brian scoffs. I blink at his comment; Matt snorts, rolling his eyes. Michelle frowns and touches Brian’s arm, just as Jimmy pretends to burst into tears.

“Now look what you did.” My twin is scowling at Brian now, as she moves to wrap an arm around the taller man’s shoulders. Jimmy turns and buries his face in Michelle’s long dark hair. She rubs a hand up and down his back.

Brian just throws his hands up in disgust and walks to the chair opposite Matt and I, flopping down on it and flashing a bright smile at me. “Hey there, Chelle’s twin.”

I blush and avert my gaze. But not before catching a glimpse of the tight shirt he’s wearing, that seems to hug every line of his well-defined torso. Brian Haner Jr, aka Synyster Gates is a very stylish man. He and Zacky each have their own clothing lines. I’ve noticed Matt pimping both brands on various occasions. In fact, he’s wearing a Vengeance University tank top today.

Matt squeezes his arm around my waist, and then nods to Brian. “Does Michelle still want to take Val shopping?”

Before Brian can answer, Michelle sits on his lap and glowers at Matt. “You could ask me, Matthew. I’m right here you know.”

I feel Matt stiffen next to me, and when he responds there is tension in his voice. “Yeah. Well. Do you?”

I look at my sister. Michelle purses her lips then meets my eyes, a tight smile appearing on her lips. I wonder what is passing through her mind as she studies me. Her eyes are exactly like mine, the same hue, the same brightness, the same honey-brown stare. Something flickers in their depths and then she turns her eyes back to Matt.

“I think maybe you should ask Val, if she wants to, Matt,” Michelle suggests.

Matt nods and shifts his body on the couch, looking down into my face. “Val, do you want to go with Chelle?”

I look at him wondering if he’s asking because I seriously have a choice, or because he just wants to humour my twin. Nothing in his expression reveals otherwise, but I know what my answer will be.

Smiling, I say, “Of course. I’d like that.”

“Me too!” Jimmy pipes up and runs up and jumps onto my lap. I gasp in shock and push at him ineffectively. He pouts at me. I just blink at him, dumbfounded and a little out of breath.

“Hey!” Matt growls dangerously, and shoves at the drummer, while I try to get my arms out from under him. “Get the fuck off, dumbass. You’re squashing her.”

Jimmy pokes his tongue out at Matt, gives me a quick hug then jumps up and promptly falls on the floor at my feet. I stare at him; he stares back up at me. Then in a quick, agile movement, he flips back onto his feet and stands up, holding his arms up in a triumphant gesture.

“Huzzah!”

Matt groans, shaking his head. “Fucking dork.”

Jimmy smirks, flipping him off. “You know you love me.”

“You’re a dick.” I hear the smile in Matt’s voice though.

I know he loves his friends’ to death. He would do anything for them and I have a feeling the others would do anything for him, and for each other. All of them. I lean my head against Matt’s shoulder; he presses his lips to the top of my head.

Jimmy lowers his arms, sighing. “Well, I’d like to go shopping...but I guess I can’t.”

Brian peeks around Michelle’s body and smirks at the drummer. “No. You gotta stay here and show Shads that piece you were playing at our place the other day.”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s fucking mad. You’ll love it, Shads.” Jimmy flops on a beanbag and proceeds to kick his legs out in front of him. He almost knocks Johnny over as the bassist is about to sit on the only other free seat.

I giggle as Johnny rounds on the drummer and shakes a fist at him. “Jerk.”

Jimmy laughs out loud but then finds something else to distract him. I return my gaze to Michelle who is fiddling with the buckle of her belt. Talking of stylish, she is wearing a black halter neck that accentuates her breasts. The belt she is playing with is made of white leather and perfectly complements the solid blue jeans that hug her shapely legs. I wish I could look like that.

She glances up meeting my eyes; a soft smile passes fleetingly across her face. Matt notices our silent interaction and nudges my shoulder gently.

“You two should get going.”

I hesitate.

He smiles encouragingly. “Go on. We’ll still be here when you get back.”

Michelle hops up from Brian’s lap, clutching her purse in her hands. I look toward her again. She runs fingers through the thick waves of hair that fall around her face. Then she smiles my way. The expression isn’t quite faked, but I sense a hint of force behind it.

“Ready to go?”

I hesitate again; Matt cocks an eyebrow, and smirks. “Jesus. I can’t imagine any chick not being excited to go shopping.”

I bite my lip.

But, surprisingly Michelle jumps in to defend me. “Leave her alone, the last time Val would’ve been shopping with anyone...” She trails off and looks at me then murmurs, “was with me and Mom...when we were four and three-quarters...”

I scrunch up my face then sigh heavily. “I can’t remember.”

Matt sighs roughly, “Chelle, get outta here...and take her. She needs to get out of here.”

Michelle scowls at him, but says nothing to him. Turning to me she smiles again.

“Come on; let’s leave the guys to whatever they need to do.”

I stand and glance back at Matt. The corners of his lips twitch as he jerks his head toward the door. A dismissal of sorts, but I see the smile in his eyes. I give a little wave and pick up my purse before heading for the front door. I hear Matt telling Michelle to be nice, Brian backing him up. It takes a couple of minutes; however, my twin finally pries herself away from the men and joins me outside.

“Phew...those two...” Michelle shakes her head, and then peeks at me. “Come on, I’m driving.”

* * * * *

The clamour and busy-ness of the mall scares me a little. There are so many people. I stay as close to Michelle as I can without stepping on her. To her credit she doesn’t even frown at me. Perhaps she’s more sensitive than I thought. We hurry over to a small coffee shop, where she encourages me to take a seat, dumping the myriad shopping bags that she is carrying onto the floor by my feet.

I watch as she goes to the counter and orders us some hot drinks. Then she comes and sits opposite me, a thoughtful expression on her face.

Though it’s not until we have our drinks in hand does she say anything to me, and when she does I sense that she’s been thinking hard about what she wants to say. “Val, do you remember anything from when we were little?”

I take a sip of the cappuccino she bought me. The slight bitter tang sends a spark of energy to my mind.
Gripping the cup, I think for a moment before responding. “I don’t really know. That’s so long ago. And...so much has happened.”

Michelle purses her lips. “You can’t remember anything at all?”

I blink hard; averting my gaze my eyes fall upon a mother with a little girl who is sitting several tables away from us. The little girl is clowning around on the chair and the mother is attempting to get her to sit still. That gets me to thinking about when I was a little girl, and in all honesty there is only one memory that really sticks out from all the rest.

However, I cannot voice it; it is too close to my heart, too sensitive an experience. Even though Michelle is my sister, my twin, I can’t express what is on the tip of my tongue. I shake my head slowly and rub a hand over my face.

Michelle sighs and looks over to the mother and child as well, a small smile flickering across her face. “That was you once upon a time.”

I roll my eyes. “Don’t you mean you?”

The corner of her lips quirk and she shakes her head as she answers wistfully. “Both of us. We were such...girls.”

Rolling my eyes again, I finish my drink and set the cup down on the table. I knew exactly what she meant. We were both exactly what little girls should be. Dolled up in matching pink dresses, pink shoes, pink socks, and pink ribbons in our hair, we were our parents’ cute little princesses. What it was that changed all that I can’t even remember, and all I can be sure of is that I don’t resent them for deciding to keep Michelle and getting rid of me.

“Yeah, we were, weren’t we?” I give a little shake and glance around the cafe taking in the other customers. There are a couple of elder women sitting across from us discussing the weather; an old man and his grandchild sharing a huge bowl of ice cream at the table next to them; and two burly men wearing baseball caps at the table behind ours. One of them catches me looking and smirks, tilting two fingers to the peak of his cap. I flush and return my gaze to my twin.

Michelle quirks an eyebrow at me. “What?”

I shake my head, tucking a strand of hair behind my left ear. She glances over her shoulder to where I was looking. The same man salutes her, but doesn’t smile this time. She rolls her eyes at him and swivels back to face me.

“Jerk,” she mumbles under her breath.

I giggle. Michelle laughs outright.

“Ah, heck, Val. Wish we could’ve done this years ago...y’know, like sisters should.” She props her elbows against the table, resting her chin on her hands. With a nod she indicates my cup. “Gonna finish that?”

I tilt the saucer her way. “Already done.”

“Heh, shows how much I notice.” She grimaces. “Brian reckons I’m too self absorbed sometimes.”

“I wouldn’t know.” I flash a look at her. “I haven’t met many self-absorbed women.”

“No, I s’pose you wouldn’t have.” Her tone sounds slightly wary now, as if she’s anxious of how the conversation is heading. I sense that she has many unspoken questions, but is hesitant to pry into my private life. In a way, her hesitation mirrors my own. I’m not sure I’m ready to talk about that missing time with her or anyone else. I have still yet to open up about it with Matt.

Michelle leans back against her chair. I shift on mine, noticing from the corner of my eye that the man from the other table has stood and is approaching ours. I tense slightly, doing what I always do, study the guy’s appearance. Beneath his cap several strands of black hair stick haphazardly out at right angles from his face. Cool black eyes narrow as he comes closer.

I tuck my hands in my armpits. He halts next to the table. He’s wearing a grey jacket over a plain white T-shirt, which is giving nothing away. The sleeves are rolled up though, so I can see the brawn of his forearms. He places his hands against the table; it leans slightly at the pressure.

I blink at him. Michelle frowns and presses her lips together. Lifting an eyebrow she waits to see what he wants.

“So. What’re two cuties like you doing here sitting by yourselves?”

“Minding our own business,” Michelle retorts. She tilts her chin toward his table. “What’re two hunks like you, and your buddy, doing together in a coffee shop? Chatting each other up?”

His expression freezes. I catch a vein in his forehead beginning to throb slightly. Michelle’s barb obviously gets to him. He turns his head to stare directly at me. An involuntary shiver runs down my spine. The look in his eyes reminds me of the men who owned me in the past, rough, hard men who care nothing for anyone but themselves.

In truth if it weren’t for the fact that I can swear I’ve never seen the man before I could be forgiven for thinking that he was a man I had encountered in my past.

His lips curve slightly as he looks me up and down. “You got a tongue, sweetcakes?”

I bite at my tongue. He chuckles. Michelle scowls and snaps catching him off guard, “We’re answered for. So, you can just take your ass and sit back down over there.”

The man laughs, deep, amused. “Well, if you change your minds. I’m Joshua. But, if you want me...just ask for JD.” He winks, tosses a card onto the table, and then turns on his heel walking back to his friend.

Michelle rubs at her eyes while looking back at me. I heave a sigh. She laughs a little.

“Well, that...was interesting.” She picks up her purse and sets it on the table in front of her, rifling through it as she keeps talking. “Maybe a little too interesting.”

I don’t respond, my focus on the card he left behind. Turning it so I can read the small print, my skin tingles.

“Joshua Douglas...HeartsRebels?”

“Huh?” Michelle stops rummaging in her bag. “What’s that?”

“The card he left. Look, what do you think that is?” I hand it to her.

She examines it, flipping it over a curious look on her face. “No idea. Toss it. It’s probably fake.”

I nod slightly, but when she’s not looking, I tuck the card in my back pocket. I want to show it to Matt, see if he can figure it out. There’s just something about the way it’s presented that bothers me. It jogs a memory that lurks deep in my mind and I want to get to the bottom of it. It might be nothing, but considering my past, and that call from The Guild earlier, I’m not going to take any chances.

Michelle glances at her watch. “Shit, look at that, we’d better get back. The boys’ll be finished, probably getting into the drink. C’mon.” She stands.

I follow suit. Before she moves to leave I lean over and catch hold of her arm. She pauses and meets my eyes.

“Yeah?”

Clearing my throat and smiling, I whisper, “Thanks for this...I...had fun.”

Michelle’s face softens considerably, as she closes a hand over mine. I blink hard as she murmurs in answer, “We’ll do this again, sis. I promise.”

And with that pledge hanging between us we leave the cafe.

Wonder what she'll do with the card?

I sincerely hope that she gets the chance to show it to Matt before he finds it - wonderful update honey and I can't as always wait for more xoxox

i agree with harleymac, i want matt to know as well

Thanks you guys, yes...we'll see what she does with it, eh?

Part Thirteen - "Wow, I sound like a sap."

“Jason Denmore, he’s a wicked guitar tech, Walter put me onto him.”

Michelle and I walk into the house in time to hear Brian raving about some new guy he met in Los Angeles. He is a guitar technician that specialises in working with metal and progressive rock bands. As Brian’s rambling on, Matt pokes his head out from the living room and grins, his eyes falling upon the bags we’re toting.

“Hey, you’re back.” He tilts his head at us an expression of wonderment on his face. He is obviously, like all men, pondering the wisdom behind women who buy copious amounts of stuff from their favourite stores, and then never actually using the things they purchase.

I smile in answer. Right now, I don’t trust myself to speak. I’ll just let my twin do all the talking. Or at least that’s my plan, whether she or Matt stick to the script remains to be seen.

Michelle nods, putting her bags on the floor, plastic crinkling as she looks to the other room. “What’s Bri going on about?”

Matt shrugs and steps over to take my bags from me. “Just some new guitar tech.” He eyes me, a serious expression now on his face. “Have a good time?” He keeps looking at me, waiting for a response.

As I move to step by him, I clear my throat and murmur a quick answer. “Yeah, it was alright...”

I catch Michelle raise an eyebrow at me. I shake my head in her direction. She sighs and heads into the living room. I make to follow her, but Matt stops me, taking my left elbow in hand and pulling me over to the kitchen bench.

“Sit.” His tone brooks no refusal.

I slowly slide my ass onto the stool, looking down at my hands. One of my nails is chipped; I play with it. Matt frowns and leans his hip against the bench, examining me. I peer up at his face. There is a furrow in his forehead; his hazel eyes hold an expectant look.

“Valary.” He uses my full first name, an obvious sign that I have to talk to him. No getting out of this.

Biting my lower lip, I take several deep breaths, before speaking softly. “Yeah, we had a good time. Did some shopping.” I rub my hands on my pants, sweat making my skin feel clammy. I can’t explain the feeling. Don’t want to explain it. Instead, still rubbing at my pants, I add softly, “Got some new clothes, so I won’t have to keep wearing yours.”

Matt’s lips twitch as he nods a glimmer of laughter in his eyes. But then he asks, “Anything interesting happen?”

That question gives me pause. Here, and now, would be the perfect time to tell him about that guy who came up to us, but at the same time I feel that I don’t want to bother Matt with it. Shaking my head, I cast a longing glance toward the living room. I hope he takes the hint.

But, instead, he growls low, leaning into my comfort zone. “Val. Talk to me.”

I bite my lip, meeting his stern look. Taking a deep breath I fish into my back pocket and pull out the card the guy left on our table, holding it out to him.

He frowns, lips pressing together in a thin line. “What’s this?”

I lift my shoulders, crossing my arms over my breasts. He takes the card and squints narrowly at it, eyes scanning the text. I wait, quietly, watching the expression on his face change as he reads. His eyes darken, lips tightening in a thin line.

He tosses the card onto the bench then pins me with a look. “Who gave you that?”

Breathing out, as I brace my hands against my knees, I say in confusion, “This guy at a cafe Michelle and I were at. He was kind of staring at us. Creeped me out. And then he left that card.”

Matt nods slightly. “Go on.”

I blink. “That’s it.”

“Uhuh.” Matt smirks, yet his eyes are grave. “Why’d you take the card?”

That I do know the answer to. However, I feel a bit weird trying to explain my reasoning to Matt.

He leans more against the bench and tilts his head to the side. “Val?”

Shaking myself, I frown a little, meeting his gaze. “Something...I felt something.” I rub my bottom lip. “The Guild...I...don’t know. I had this thought, that there might be a connection. I don’t know. Just thought maybe you could look it up? See what it’s about?”

Peering up into his eyes I try to gauge his response. Matt says nothing though, and pushes away from the bench, pocketing the card and motioning for me to follow him.

Realising I’m not going to get any answer from him I slip off the stool and walk behind him, as he heads for the living room. I halt in the doorway, observing him as he plonks himself down next to Zacky, who just so happens to have his laptop open on his lap. I tilt my head, as he glances at Matt and gives a little smile.

“Guess what, Shads?”

Matt chuckles and rolls his eyes. “What, V?”

“VU has a whole new line of clothing.” Zacky grins like a kid at Christmas. Not that I’d know what someone feels like at Christmas, I do not remember ever celebrating that time of the year. I’m sure I did with Michelle when I was really little. But who remembers that?

Zacky is still speaking. “It’s a Halloween theme. Fucking rad.”

I watch as Matt smiles faintly, but then his brow creases in thought. “Hey, man. Do me a favour?”

Zacky sucks at his snakebites, nodding. “Sure?”

Matt casts a look toward where I’m standing. I blink at him. He stares at me for a second as he retrieves the card from his pocket. Then he faces his friend again, holding the card out to him between his index and middle finger.

“Search this.” His voice seems tense, but I can’t really decipher his tone. It might be just pure curiosity, or it could be anxiety. Who knows? Only him, I guess.

The guitarist presses his lips together as he takes the card and turns it over, reading the text. One hand holding the card, he uses the other to tap into the search engine. At least that is what I presume. I still haven’t moved from my place in the doorway.

Jimmy notices me standing there and gets up from where he’s sitting with my twin and Brian. He walks over to me and smiles warmly.

“Hey, whatcha doing, Valary? Come sit with us.”

I hesitate, looking over at Matt and Zacky. The drummer snorts and places a hand against my right shoulder.

“Don’t worry about them, come join us.”

I shake my head slightly. “No, I’m fine, thanks...” I bite my bottom lip, taking a step back. “Actually, I’m a bit tired. Think I might go lie down.” I’m not being completely honest; I actually want to write down my feelings about the day, but it’s not like I want to say that to Jimmy, that’s only for me, and Matt, to know.

Jimmy smiles gently, rubbing my arm softly. “’Kay, take care, then.” He drops his hand, turning to walk back to the others.

I sneak a quick look over at Matt again; he’s leaning close to Zack, gaze focusing on the laptop. Whatever their searching, must be intriguing because neither seems to remember the presence of the others, even when Jimmy starts lobbing peanuts over in their direction. I giggle silently to myself, shaking my head.

As they all seem to be preoccupied in one way or another, I see this as a chance to leave them at it. So, I back out of the doorway and go to our room, shutting myself in. For a moment, I just lean against the door, breathing slowly, allowing my thoughts to settle in my mind.

Grabbing my journal from the nightstand, I then scramble onto the middle of the bed, clutching my pencil in my right hand. I twirl it absently between my thumb and forefinger. Then propping myself up on some pillows on my side of the bed, I flip it open to a blank page, and am about begin to writing, when I notice that the previous entry was not written by me.

I blink, and lean close to look at the handwriting. Recognising the characteristic curl at the end of the capital letters I realise it is Matt’s penmanship. I stare and stare at the words he has written, and wonder when exactly he could have done so.

Shaking my head, I glance toward the door for a moment, the distant sounds of the guys talking and arguing, floating down the hallway. I dismiss it as background noise and return my focus to the journal, pausing for a long moment, before making a decision.

I’m going to read his entry. See what he has to say. After all, since he’s written it in my journal he obviously can’t be expecting me not to read it. Perhaps he wrote something in there for me to read? Maybe he decides to confess his und- yeah, right. Don’t even go there. He’s probably just made some commentary on my previous diarising.

Plumping up the pillows, I rest back against them and flip back a few pages to the point where Matt has begun his entry. However, before I start reading, I once again check the noise levels outside the room.

Still the same, still busy enjoying each other’s company. Sighing, I settle down, tucking my chin into my chest and allowing my eyes to focus solely on my master’s words.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Matt’s Message

Yeah, so, I got bored because the guys decided to go outside and have a smoke. You know I don’t smoke anymore, not even socially, so I popped in for a lie down. Saw your journal laying on the night stand and had a bit of a read.

Then I figured I’d insert a little note.

Obviously.

So.

One: I hope you had a good time with Michelle. I can’t say that we see eye to eye on anything...but then we kind of rubbed each other up the wrong way back in high school. I just can’t believe that you and she are twins, to be entirely honest. You’re such polar opposites. But, then again, maybe if you’d actually grown up together, that might have been different.

Shit, just the fact that you’re a slave...no words can really describe how that makes me feel. Maybe I’ll try and explain to you face-to-face. Yeah, I know I bought you...paid cash for you...but...yeah.

You amaze me, y’know that? You just manage to put into words these observations that just...jump off the page. Makes me feel like I’m there with you. Heh, I guess I was, hey?

Anyway, you know what still gets to me after these past few months? The fact you’re still so self-fucking-conscious about your body. Yes, I’m gonna put this out there, in writing...just so you know. There’s no need for it. Do you realise how many women would...wish so hard for a body like yours.

Oh, now. Don’t blush. I’m just telling you like it is. Perhaps seeing it here in my hand writing will convince you that it’s true. Because, there’s one thing you have to know about me.

I never lie.

Never.

It’s against my whole...moral code, or whatever.

Wow, I sound like a sap. Okay, enough sweetness. I could fill a pot of it...heh.

Be serious, Shads.

Right. I’m gonna reach my point in a minute.

You’re beautiful, stunning. That night, at the gig. You stood out. And, I just had to, I’m not sure. Have you. That sleazy scumbag, Giovanni...I wondered how you ended up with a guy like him? Maybe you’ll tell me that story one day? Or write it in here for me to read?

Yeah, so...just take this to heart. You. Are. So. Damn. Beautiful.

Period.

Don’t question me on that.

Ever.

Anyway, that’s me done. Heh, that’s the most I’ve ever written, which hasn’t been a public blog to our fans on MySpace. Go figure.

Now back to our usual broadcast...

Shads.

AWE how sweet is Mr Shads? Loving this more and more with every passing chapter, I do wonder what they found out about the creep. Looking forward to more xoxox

Wonder what they'll find out about the card?

haha loved matt's message

Part Fourteen - "I think I love you.

“Valary! Where the hell did- oh, there you are.”

I swing my head around as the door opens and Matt’s head pops around the edge. I give him a faint smile and wave to him. He leans against the doorframe and smiles back.

“What’re you doing?”

I hold up my journal. The corners of his eyes crinkle slightly. Then he pushes away from the doorway, approaching the bed.

I shift my weight a little, tilting my head. “Join me, Master?”

Matt smiles and climbs on the bed, the mattress dipping beneath his bulk. He shuffles around, settling next to me, pulling me close into his side. Leaning my head against his shoulder, I give a soft sigh. He nuzzles into my hair, tucking several strands behind my ears. I peek up at him; his eyes twinkle at me. Blushing, I lower my eyes and return my concentration to my journal.

Matt plays with my hair, remaining in silence, obviously content to just relax with me for a moment. I scribble away absently, but then stop and look up at him again.

“Uh, why aren’t you with the others?”

Matt smirks. “Might ask the same of you, Val.”

“Well, I just needed to be by myself, Master.” I look down, feeling a little anxious. He cups my chin and tilts it up, frowning at me. I bite my lip gently. He brushes his thumb slowly across my lower lip.

Then he says, “You never had a lot of time to yourself, did you.” It’s not quite a question.

I blink hard, stomach rolling slightly, before giving a tiny nod. “No, Master.”

Matt sighs, tilting his head back against the large pillow. His dark hair contrasts against the white of the cover. He breathes deeply then swears softly, before meeting my gaze again.

“Well, I have a proposal then.”

I look curiously at him. “A proposal?”

“Yeah. A couple of hours a day which is solely for yourself, without me, to do whatever you wanna do.” Matt quirks his eyebrows at me. “What do you reckon?”

For some inexplicable reason, tears begin to fill my eyes. One drop finds its way from the corner of my eye down my left cheek. Wiping furiously at my face, I try to smile at him. His brow furrows.

“Val?”

“I’m okay,” I sniffle, rubbing at my eyes. “I...just. No one’s ever...”

“Yeah,” Matt interrupts firmly, “I’m not any of those jerks. I’m your master. And I say you get some ‘Valary’ time. Every day.” He strokes his thumb along my left cheekbone. “Starting from now. So, if you want me to leave, I will.”

I stare at him, a little awestruck. His lips curve in a tender expression, and he rubs the tip of his nose against my cheek. I shiver a little, but then shake my head.

“No, want you to stay, please.” I place my hand against his, holding on for a moment. He looks at our linked hands then nods, settling back against the pillow again.

“Sure. I’ll stay.” He breathes out slowly, wrapping his arm around my waist, and tilting his head so he can watch me. Relaxing into his side once more, I pick my pen up and go back to writing.

Several minutes pass before I stop, giving my hand a rest. “Are they still here?”

“Nah.” Matt rakes his fingers through his hair. “They left.”

I nod slightly, then murmur, “Get any work done, Master?”

Matt chuckles. “Yeah, we got some rad ideas going ‘round between the five of us. Even Johnny had a couple of song ideas, which isn’t usual. He usually leaves the initial song ideas to Jimmy and I.”

I nod again; he adds quietly, “A lot of things have happened in the world, y’know...I’m figuring the new album’s going to take us all on a pretty...dark journey.” He sighs softly. “Anyway, we were starting to go in circles over a point...so we decided to call it a day.”

Glancing up at him, I tilt my head. Matt smiles at me, and then frowns slightly.

“Um...before he left, Zacky said he’d see if he could find something on that card.”

“Oh.” I purse my lips. “So, you didn’t find anything online?”

Matt shakes his head. “Nope.”

Shifting, so as to lay across his stomach, I peer up into his face. “Well, it might just be nothing.” I’m hoping it’s nothing, because for once I want my premonitions to be proven unfounded. I don’t want every little thing I suspect to actually be true. Because, it’s usually bad for me. I always end up getting hurt. And, I don’t want to be hurt anymore.

Matt closes his eyes for a moment, resting them. Then he slits them studying me, I assume. “What if it is something?”

“I don’t know, Master. Guess we’ll just have to figure it out if that’s the case.” I twirl my pen between my thumb and fingers.

He nods, and then asks, “You see my message?”

Sliding my other hand over the pages of my journal, I nod. “Yes.” I don’t trust myself to say anything more than that. The words he wrote are still hard for me to fathom. I can’t believe he wrote them. No man has ever let me know how they felt about me in such an intimate and personal manner. Sure, I might be able to formulate a response in writing, but to say anything more out loud is kind of unsettling to me.

Matt rubs a thumb across the back of my neck. Then he dips his head down, pressing his lips into my hair. Shivering, I shift a little, gazing up into his face. The corners of his mouth turn up, dimples appearing on either side. I feel my cheeks going pink and lower my eyes again.

He chuckles softly before resting his head back against the pillow. I sit up a little, observing his face. He notices me looking, and wrinkles the bridge of his nose and crosses his eyes. I burst into a fit of giggles. He looks...cute...when he does that. That thought stops my laughter. Matt looks at me and uncrosses his eyes.

“You okay?”

I stare at him, and then blurt out, “I’m not beautiful.” I gasp realising seconds after what I just said, blushing right to the roots of my hair. I duck my head down suddenly unable to look Matt in the face. There’s a moment’s silence, filled only by our breaths, mine shallow, and nervy, his calm, steady.

To his credit, Matt makes no comment; instead, he tilts my chin, making me meet his eyes. Then he smiles, the warmth somehow calming my jittery nerves.

I breathe out slowly and whisper, “Forget I said that, Master.”

Matt looks at me thoughtfully. He’s obviously formulating a response to my request. His eyes narrow slightly, eyelashes lowering over his stare. Then he speaks quietly, but firmly, “Val, I told you not to argue with me. I always mean what I say, or write, as the case may be.” He smirks faintly at that final remark.

I blink, looking down. He sighs softly. Then he rubs his thumb against my cheek, before pulling my head to rest against his chest, lying back, and holding me in his arms. I curl into his body, resting my eyes. He trails his fingers from my face, down my neck to my shoulder, rubbing gently. I smile a little.

I hear Matt inhale deeply, then let his breath out in what sounds like a sigh of contentment. Then he nuzzles into my hair, breathing steadily. I close my eyes, allowing myself to relax in his arms, drifting in a semi-conscious state, my breaths slowing.

Matt holds me close, propping his chin atop my head. We remain like that for awhile, not moving, not thinking just resting in each other’s presence.

After awhile, I finish scribbling in my journal; and, after handing it to Matt so he can read it, I curl up against his chest and allow myself to drift off.

* * * * *

Master, you think I’m beautiful? You’d be the first to ever tell me that in any form or manner. Most men put me down all the time...I was only ever there for them to use. To dump their seed into my body, onto my body. They didn’t give two hoots about the way I looked. As long as I obeyed them in every which way, they were satisfied. Definitely satisfied.

No. I’m ugly. A waste of human flesh. Or so some of them told me. You have to understand why I’m hesitant to accept your evaluation of me. Men have lied to me to get me to do their every fancy. They wanted a blow job? They would tell me I was lucky I got to blow them because I was an ugly slut and no gentleman would want me to touch their cocks with my whore mouth. That hurt...it all hurt, but I got used to it.

I never thought my life would get any better you know? You asked about Giovanni? I’d been with him for about two years when you bought me. He wasn’t too bad, really. He was just fat...and his breath stank...he was sleazy more than anything else. He never hurt me, not like other men who had me. He, Giovanni, represented the best of my situation at the time.

Of course, because of the type of person he was, I began acting up. With my other masters I never dared truly to play up because I was so damned scared that they’d do me some serious damage. But, with G...I felt I could get away with a lot of things. And, I guess that’s why, when you showed up, he told you I was ‘damaged goods’. Because, I wasn’t the obedient little slave I should’ve been. That’s why he wanted to get rid of me too.

I know I’m not all that submissive even now. I just don’t think I’m the type. But, somehow you make me want to try harder to be obedient. The rules help to an extent. They’re straightforward, not confusing. They give me something to base my behaviour on. My other masters ruled me by making me fear them. You...rule my...heart. There, I put it in words.

I shouldn’t be admitting this and whether you make some comment or not...I don’t know. But, I...I’ve fallen for you, Master...

Oh...God. I can’t believe I just wrote that...

But, I need to be honest, don’t I? You hate dishonesty, I know that. But, I need to tell you this. If. If you feel you need to put me in my place...tell me I can’t fall for you, whatever...I understand. I’m the slave. You’re the master, what you say, goes. Always.

Anyway. I was wondering something, Master. Why did you buy me? I mean, it takes all sorts to own a slave, but that doesn’t explain why you suddenly decided buying me was a good idea. You don’t seem the type to just go and buy a slave...or even need one?

You don’t have to answer that question, by the way. It’s none of my business, right? You make decisions for yourself that I have no right knowing the why of. But, I can’t help being curious.

All my other masters had had slaves before me and all for the same reason. Sex. But, we’ve hardly slept together...or at least if we do you’ve always made sure I get something out of it as well...and not just as an afterthought. And, not to humiliate me...or make me feel like a slut.

I don’t think sex is the reason you bought me though. It’s something more than that. It can’t be because of the way I look. Yes, I know...we’re back to that. You think I’m beautiful. But, I don’t know about that...I doubt that it’s the reason you decided to fork over some money to some fat sleazebag to get me away from him, and make me your slave. No, that can’t possibly be the reason. It has to be something else.

I guess I could speculate until I was blue in the face, only way I’d ever know is if you decide I deserve an answer. I’m not expecting one, though.

You can respond, or not, as you like to this message...I don’t mind, Master. Whatever you say is enough for me.

Just...know that I...I think I love you, Master...

Yeah... that’s me done.

I know I've said this before, but I'll say it again: I adore this story

I stumbled upon this tonight, and I must confess you've got me hooked! It's a wonderfully written story, and you have a lovely use of language too. I eagerly await an update, I cannot wait to see how the dichotomy of this unconventional relationship (of sorts) further plays out....brilliant, just brilliant. Well done xx

@Kricket Thank YOU

@Nola Thanks, I really do hope you stick with it it's quite a journey

Oh and btw, Happy Easter

~~~~

Chapter Fifteen - "I don't want to read this...seriously."

It’s been a few days since I wrote that little message in my journal, and something’s changed between Matt and me. I wouldn’t say it’s bad, or good. More like Switzerland. Hah, if you don’t get that, then I have to ask you, were you under a rock your whole life? I mean, I’m a slave and even I know that Switzerland is neutral territory. Anyway, Matt’s just doing what he usually does...at least on the surface. The guys have been in and out, I’ve even hung out with Michelle again. But, there’s just something between us that wasn’t there before.

There’s this...tension...and I have to admit, it worries me a little. I’ve been extra vigilant, y’know? Rule number three – pay attention. But, I can’t seem to pin down what he’s thinking or feeling. He’s like a closed book.

He did something this morning that he hasn’t for awhile, though. He lost his cool with me, but there was no yelling or anything like that. He just shut me out. Not physically, I mean he’s actually sitting right next to me as I’m telling you this. We’re in the living room; he’s watching some game on the television. I’m writing in my journal, again. He hasn’t really acknowledged me all morning. I mean, he’s still gentle with me. Y’know? But, it seems impersonal, almost, as if he’s kind of detached himself.

I don’t know. I don’t know how to go back to the way it was. I mean, it’s not like a huge change or anything, just a subtle shifting of emotions. And, I don’t even know whether it’s to do with what I wrote, or just a coincidence. I mean maybe he’s just in an off mood or something. But, usually if that’s the case, he’d be complaining and groaning, and getting me to do every little thing he can possibly think of. And then he’d fall asleep on the couch and snore away like a runaway motor. Then he’d wake up and be all dimpled smiles, and cheery words.

But, he hasn’t even cracked a smile over the past few days. I think the guys even noticed it. Jimmy made some comment like he always does, and Matt didn’t say anything, when he usually, at least, calls the drummer a ‘jerk’ or a ‘dick’. All out of love, of course.

I hope it wasn’t what I wrote, because if that’s the case...then...hell...awkward city. I can stand it if he tells me that he doesn’t feel the same, or whatever...but this whole not acknowledging me business is getting to me. I’m hanging out on a limb, just wondering.

“Val.”

I jump slightly. Matt’s actually looking at me. I blink at him, meeting his guarded expression.

“Yes, Master?” I’m extra careful to address him properly. His lips twist slightly as he drapes an arm over the back of the sofa. Shifting uncomfortably on my seat, I wait for a response.

He smears a hand over his jaw, pressing his lips together. His brow furrows, and I can see thoughts passing in his mind. I continue to wait, knowing not to push.

Matt breathes out harshly and opens his mouth, speaking in a low voice, “Your message. In your journal. You want to explain to me what that was about?”

I bite my lip and look down, then back up at him. “I...well...I mean...I thought it was clear, Master?”

Matt lifts an eyebrow. “You tell me, Valary.”

I shift beneath his cool stare. “I...well...” My cheeks feel flushed. I hate that he’s putting me on the spot now, considering his behaviour toward me the last few days.

“Valary, talk to me.”

I swallow hard, clasping my hands together in my lap. I look anywhere but at him. Matt groans softly.

“Valary, talk to me. I can’t read your mind.”

“I know, Master...I just...” I peek up at him. He meets my eyes.

“Look, you obviously meant for me to read it. I just want to understand.” He takes his bottom lip between his teeth, pausing for a moment. Before he can continue, though, the sound of the door chimes echoes in the front entrance. I wonder who it could be; the guys didn’t say they were coming over today.

Matt grimaces, standing to his feet. He looks down at me, expression unusually stern, focused.

“Stay here, ‘kay? We’ll finish this conversation.”

I nod obediently. He turns on his heel and walks out to answer the door. I sit and wait, feeling a little anxious. On the one hand I am hoping that it’s nobody important and that Matt will be able to come back so we can finish this discussion and move on. On the other, I’m hoping that it will be someone who can distract Matt from the whole issue because, in truth, I’m scared of his reaction to my written declaration of my feelings for him.

After several moments, I hear Matt’s voice and that of another man rumbling from the front door. Their words aren’t clear, but they become evident as I hear their footsteps approaching the living room door. Obviously, it wasn’t just some random salesmen or doorknocker.

The guy is speaking to Matt in a low voice.

“So, how long has it been now?” I recognise the voice. It’s that guy who called from the Guild. A shiver runs through my body and I huddle into the couch, wrapping my arms around my knees. I’ve never even met the man, and he scares me. Just the tone, and quality, of his voice makes me think of a man who could easily cause me harm.

“I don’t count. A few months, maybe more?” Matt’s response is wary.

“You don’t count?” A hint of incredulity creeps into the guy’s voice.

“No. Is it even important?” There’s tension in Matt’s voice; he’s not happy about the guy’s probing.

There’s a heavy pause, then the man says, as they stop just outside the living room, “Yes, actually it’s very important. Because, what usually happens at around the two month mark, someone from the Guild is supposed to come and assess the situation, make sure everything is up to standard.”

“Up to standard.” Matt repeats the guy slowly, and then adds, gruffly, “What the hell does that mean?”

“There are rules and guidelines that one must follow when owning a slave, Mr Sanders. If those aren’t followed one is at risk of having their slave taken away.” The man’s tone is grim.

I tremble at his words and peek toward the doorway. Matt walks in, brow furrowed even more than usual. The man follows him into the living room. I stare up towards him, taking in his appearance. He’s dressed in a suit, which seems a little out of place considering how casually Matt and I are dressed. But, then this is Huntington, you get all sorts of people living here. His eyes narrow on me; they’re a stark grey, almost steel in essence. I lower my eyes, shivering.

He chuckles low. “Well, she seems to know her place.”

Matt walks around to stand behind the sofa; I see his hands grip the back of the chair, his knuckles whitening. He’s pissed, and I can feel it. I glance up at him. His face is drawn taut, his jaw clenching, white lines appearing on either side of his nose. I look to the man.

He glares at me. “Don’t look at me.”

I drop my eyes.

Matt growls. “Don’t tell her what to do.”

More chuckling, his tone is dark, though. “Matthew Sanders, you may be her Master, but as a Guild representative it is my right, and responsibility, to ensure she behaves as she should.”

A tremor runs the length of my spine. The man approaches the sofa, positioning his body directly in front of me. I can see the pinstripes on his pants, clearly, a dark stain on his left pants leg. I lower my eyes even more. After several seconds pass, he grips my chin and tilts my face to his. I am careful not to look into his eyes, keeping mine directed at the point of his chin.

He clucks his tongue lightly, before releasing me and stepping away. He looks to Matt, I watch from the corners of my lowered gaze.

“Tell me, how obedient has she been?”

Matt’s jaw tightens; and I know why. My behaviour hasn’t ever really been an issue, but I know by Guild standards Matt has been lax. Of course, he doesn’t actually know this, because Giovanni never told him anything of the rules and guidelines. I wait to hear his answer.

“You say there are rules and guidelines, but I don’t know anything about them. No one told me. So, by what standards are we basing Val’s behaviour?” Matt’s words are clipped, strained.

The man smiles faintly before answering, “Instant and unquestioning obedience is the key. All masters are to expect nothing less. Even allowing the tiniest slip is a breach of standards.” I glance up and see him pin Matt with a hard look.

Matt meets his stare evenly. “And if I allow her some leeway?”

The man shakes his head. “Not acceptable. Any slip, and she must be punished.”

I swallow hard at his statement and glance up at Matt. He looks down at me, lips pressing together as before. The man sees our shared look.

“So, we come back to my question.”

Matt sighs, leaning his weight against the back of the sofa. His biceps flex, the muscles in his forearms tighten in hard knots. He avoids looking at me, at him, just staring at the wall. I observe him in silence nervous as to how he’ll answer.

He takes a deep breath, then speaks, slowly, “Since I didn’t know about the guidelines, you can hardly fault me.”

“So, not as obedient as she should?”

Matt stiffens, his eyes darkening, gaze shifting to the other man. “Never said that.”

The man snorts. “No, but that’s the implication.”

Matt gives a tight nod. I tremble. The implication can’t mean anything good for me. I can tell just by the look on the man’s face that this is not acceptable. I bite my lip and look at Matt. He rakes long fingers through his hair.

“So. Exactly what does that mean?” He glowers.

I realise all of a sudden that I don’t know his name. Perhaps it’s better that way, though? Nameless, he can’t be as much of a threat. Still, I am wary of him, as is natural.

He casts a cold look at me then back at Matt.

“Well. You are correct in saying that you can’t be held accountable for something you didn’t know. But, starting from today, I will have to ensure that you will begin to take your position seriously. She is your slave, and she should be treated as such.” He opens a briefcase that I only just notice propped at his feet. Removing several sheafs of paper, and holding them out to Matt, he continues. “These are a copy of the guidelines and suggestions as to what can be done to establish her submission. There’s also a contact list if you should need assistance with anything.”

Matt takes the proffered pages without looking at them, keeping his stony glare fixed on the Guild rep. “Anything else?”

The man straightens, snapping his case close, tucking it beneath his arm. “If you’ve written up some rules, make sure they align with the Guild guidelines, any that don’t, change them or get rid of them.” He glances at his wrist, a gold watch rests there. “I’ll return in a week to see where you’re at.” He looks at me then nods to Matt. “Good day. I’ll see myself out.” With that, he exits the room, leaving Matt and I alone to ponder the abruptness of his coming, and going.

I blink rapidly as I swing my legs around and plant my feet on the floor. Matt moves way from the sofa and goes to stand by the window, staring out, face hard. Rubbing at my knees, I try to think of something to say.

Matt speaks first though, his voice deceptively calm. “Has that happened before?”

I bite my lip, trying to remember if it ever has, deciding that I can’t and shaking my head slightly. “Not to me, Master. But, I’ve heard stories. They say it’s always real quick...they go in, say what they have to say, then leave.”

Matt turns his head slightly to look at me. “But, not to you?”

I shake my head. “Maybe they do it randomly, Master. I don’t know. Maybe they do it when they think something’s gone wrong.”

Matt rubs his thumb along his bottom lip then joins me on the couch. He reaches out, taking hold of my right hand, gently rubbing his thumb over the back of it. I fix my eyes on our joined hands. He sighs deeply; then he rustles the pages the man gave him. I give them a cursory glance, then away to the floor.

Matt rumbles in his chest. “These guidelines. Do you know what they are?”

I shake my head. “No. I’ve never been shown them.” I peek up at him. His expression is still close. I wonder what he’s thinking, what he’s feeling. He releases my hand and smooths his palm over the pages, it rustles at his touch. Then he shakes them slightly resting them on his lap.

“Well, we’d better look them over, then.”

For some reason that idea scares me. Shifting away a little and shaking my head, I murmur a little apprehensively, “You can look at them...I’d...rather not.”

Matt frowns at me. “Val. You need to see them.” He takes my hand again, running his thumb over my knuckles. “We both need to know what they are, so we don’t have any problems.”

Tucking my legs beneath my bottom, I curl next to him, peeking nervously at the pages. Matt smiles faintly at me, barely even a flicker of his lips, before looking down at the page and reading out loud.

“The Guild of Dominants and Submissives has, for the purpose of maintaining strict standards of procedure and protocol, provided these guidelines for all who find themselves’ living as a Master or slave. To enable smooth running of a household, these guidelines are to be strictly adhered to. Any lapse in adherence to these guidelines is a serious breach of standards.” Matt pauses from reading, lips twisting in a sour expression, like he’s tasted a lemon. He continues though, making no comment as yet.

“Each guideline is lain out to maximise ease of interpretation, and one should make absolutely certain one is familiar with each one, perfectly.” Matt shakes his head and glances at me. “Perfectly? What do they think we are? Robots?”

I shrug, keeping my eyes on the page. He sighs, reaching up to brush a lock of hair from my face before continuing his reading.

“The most important point that needs to be made, and which sets the standard for the rest of the guidelines is this: The Master controls everything. His word is final in every situation and hence the only word that the slave should adhere to.” Matt snorts slightly. “Well, it’s not like we argue with that, right?” He eyes me.

I shake my head, “No, Master.”

He returns his eyes to the document, scans the rest of the front page, and then flips over to the next. For a long moment he stares at the print. I look also, taking in the rules written there. They’re written in terse language detailing in ruthless prose exactly how a slave should behave and what a Master should do to enforce such behaviour.

Matt continues to read, not out loud anymore, though. Then, gritting his teeth, he grinds out roughly, a hint of disgust in his voice, “I don’t want to read this bullshit, seriously.” He tosses the pages on the coffee table.

I stare at them then back up at his face. “That guy will be back next week...”

“Fuck that,” Matt growls, standing up. “He can’t do shit.” He pauses, grimacing, looking down at me. “Right?”

I shrug. “I don’t know, Master. Maybe...” I hesitate before continuing, “Maybe we should read the rules? Just in case...I mean...we could always pretend that we’re following them? Or tell him that we are?” I frown at myself, wondering where I just got the gumption to suggest such a thing.

Matt catches my look and smirks. “Yeah? That might be an idea. But, ugh...let’s not do it now. I don’t think I can stomach any more of this shit, to be honest.” He glares at the document as if staring at it will make it disappear.

I nod, not arguing with his sentiment. Not that I’d argue with him at any rate. Regardless of Guild guidelines, whatever they are, I know what I am and as far as I know and have been trained to do so, I will not question Matt in any way. At least not out loud. I still think the sooner we look at them the better we would be. However, Matt is already heading for the living room door, obviously wanting to go do something else.

I sit there watching him. He moves to walk out but then he pauses in the doorway, one hand grasping the frame, before turning to peg me with a look. I bite my lip, tilting my head. He frowns deeply then turns to face me, crossing his arms over his chest.

“What, Master?”

Matt chews at his bottom lip, before answering, “Our discussion got interrupted, didn’t it?”

I nod slowly. He rubs his jaw. “I hadn’t forgotten about it, if you were wondering.”

I shake my head, I hadn’t forgotten either; just the abruptness of the Guild rep’s visit and then focusing on the guidelines had pushed it from my thoughts. “No, Master. Do you want to-?”

He cuts me off, smearing a hand over his face. “Not now. I need to think about all this.” By ‘this’ I know he means the whole Guild thing. He goes on, “Watch TV or something; come to the bedroom in an hour.”

He doesn’t wait for my response, turning on his heel and walking out of the room, leaving me alone. I blink at the spot he was just standing in, wondering again what he’s thinking, what he’s feeling. However, part of me is grateful that he’s postponing our little talk. Maybe in this next hour, I’ll have time to think how to respond to any questions he might have, and also how to answer the one he has already attempted to ask.

Sighing a little, I decide there’s nothing I can do now but to do as he suggests. So, I grab the remote from where he usually leaves it, and flopping back on the couch, getting comfortable, I flick the television on and allow myself to immerse myself in whatever mindless soapie happens to be showing.

Damn, what an ass. Do I smell a beatdown?

Oh I am so desperate for Matt to beat that guy to within an inch of his life - who the Hell does he think he is?????? fucking beurocratic(SP) bullshit. I can't wait for more as always, xoxox

Haha yeh, a beat down would be awesome...

Chapter Sixteen - "Why do you think I bought you?"

Love is not part of a slave’s life. A slave can adore her Master, revere Him, and worship Him and the ground he walks upon. But, a slave must never allow herself to fall in love.

Having gotten bored with the show on TV, I am looking over the guidelines myself. I’ve skimmed the main guidelines, mainly due to the fact that I know Matt will want to look at them with me. However, directly down the bottom of the final page is a disclaimer that I cannot believe is written there. A slave must never allow herself to fall in love? Well, that just screws everything doesn’t it? And what about the Master? Is he not allowed to fall in love with his slave? I scan the last part of the disclaimer.

These are the words: A Master must remember that as Lord and commander He should maintain the balance of power. A Master may care for His slave, as much as one would care for any other prized possession. If a Dom feels anything more than this the balance of power will shift. A Master who loves His slave is no longer in control of her. She now has power over Him and that is not acceptable.

I can’t continue. Tossing the pages back onto the coffee table, I stare at it feeling an uncomfortable prickling in my eyes. Tears. Hot, stinging, wetness. I wipe furiously at my eyes not wanting to go to Matt looking like I’ve been drowning myself. Taking several deep breaths, I sit back, tilting my head back, and blinking hard. Once I feel composed, I stand and move to leave the living room. Time to see if Matt’s ready for me.

I walk to our bedroom and peer through the doorway. I can just see Matt; he’s sitting in darkness, on the chair by the bed. His ankles are crossed before him and he has my journal in hand. His eyes are focused on the pages, and he doesn’t look up.

I clear my throat, walking in hesitantly. He doesn’t lift his gaze. Biting my lip, I halt just inside the door.

“Master...?”

He still makes no move to look at me. But, he does lift one finger slightly. Wait...

I wait, shifting on my feet. I can see his eyes moving as he’s obviously reading. I keep shuffling on one spot, nervous, feeling a little unsettled, wondering what thoughts are circling in his mind. After what feels like forever, Matt lifts his eyes to me. They’re unreadable and that almost undoes me. Pressing my lips together hard, I force myself to hold still until he says something.

Matt stares at me then says, “Come here, sit down.”

I nod almost to myself, shuffling over to sit on the edge of the bed, facing him. He leans forward, propping an elbow against his knee, resting his chin in his hand. His fingertips tap lightly at his bottom lip as he looks at me, thoughtfully.

“So,” he finally says, “you want to explain this?” He holds up my journal so I can see what I wrote.

This time I’m a little more prepared to answer the question, yet I’m still apprehensive as to his reaction. Breathing deeply, I sit back a little, staring down at my hands. Clasping them tightly in my lap, I twist them a little, while getting my words together.

Keeping my gaze on my hands, I whisper my answer, feeling my voice shaking on my words. “Well, I was talking about why I felt that obeying you wasn’t the terrible thing it was with my other masters...”

“Is that all?” Matt’s voice reveals no emotion as he questions me.

I bite my bottom lip, chewing at it slightly. “No, Master.”

“Go on, then.”

I look up at him, feeling that same prickling sensation I did earlier. He tilts his head at me an anxious look creeping into his eyes.

“Val, it’s okay. I’m not mad at you.” His voice takes on a warm tone. That completely does me in, and I just allow the tears that are forming to complete their journey from the corners of my eyes, cascading down my face.

Matt gets up and moves to sit next to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close. I lean against him, wiping at my face.

“I’m sorry...”

“Don’t be.” He digs in a pocket and retrieves a scrunched up, yet clean, tissue, using it to wipe my tears away. He says quiet for a moment, giving me a little time to compose myself again.

Then he murmurs low, “Talk to me.”

Looking up into his face, I draw on the gentleness of his expression to give me courage to speak. “I think I...have feelings for you.” I take a deep breath before going on. “I...I don’t know where they’ve come from...I just...I’m falling for you...” I bite my bottom lip, preventing anymore words from exiting, feeling as if I’ll start waffling if I do.

Matt is silent, he makes no move to respond, instead turning his head to look around the room. I shiver, again wondering what’s going through his mind. I don’t interrupt his contemplation though. He takes several moments before meeting my eyes, expression serious. He still says nothing, just studying me with a long thoughtful look. I tuck my chin down. He reaches out to cup my cheek, rubbing a thumb across the curve of my face.

I bite at my bottom lip more, and then whisper low. “I don’t think I’m allowed to fall for you, Master...”

“What do you mean?” Confusion darkens his eyes. I shiver and shake my head.

“The rules...”

Matt scowls. “Don’t tell me you looked at the rest of them without me?”

“No, Master...just this last little footnote...on the last page.”

Matt growls; I flinch, a little surprised by the anger I can feel coming from him. But, in an instant I realise it’s not me he’s angry at.

“God damn those sonofabitches.” He sits back and balls his hands into tight fists. I hesitate before resting a hand over one of his. He is extremely tense. Slowly, I uncurl his fist, tracing my fingers over his palm. He shivers and looks down at my hand. “Val.”

I stop and pull my hands back into my lap. “Sorry.”

He lifts his eyes to mine, shaking his head. “Don’t, Val.” He sighs, rubbing his hands against his jeans. “Don’t be sorry. I’m just pissed off at them, is all.” He groans and bangs a fist against the mattress. “Someone should overhaul the system.”

I blink at him. He cracks a wry grin. “If I had the know-how...” He trails off and pushes up off the bed. I look up at him. He looks back down at me, thoughts flickering in his eyes. “Tell me, if it weren’t for that rule? Would you...” he pauses.

“Would I what, Master?” I rub at my arms, wondering where his question is leading. Even though deep down I know what he’s getting at. I mean, what have we just been talking about?

Matt looks severely at me. “Would you consider being with me?”

That is a weird question... “I am with you...”

“No, I mean as boyfriend/girlfriend.” Matt cocks his eyebrow at me. I feel suddenly light headed.

“What, Master?” He can’t mean that question; I mean he hasn’t even really reacted to my sort-of-declaration of my feelings toward him. I’ve just practically spilled my guts, and he hasn’t even raised a sweat, really. He is still somewhat detached; so, his question shocks me a little.

Matt rolls his eyes. “Val. Pay attention.” His voice is mild. “I’m going to ask you again, but don’t expect me to repeat myself, we clear?”

“Yes, Master.” I nod obediently, trying to force all my thoughts from my mind and focus my attention on him. “Crystal.”

Matt smirks faintly then becomes serious once more. “Would you consider being my girlfriend? If the rules didn’t exist.” He reaches out to lift my chin. “Be honest.”

I tremble, averting my eyes. Too many emotions are clamouring for attention inside me. I don’t really know if I can answer him. It’s one thing to admit to him that I’ve fallen for him. But, quite another to take it a further step and commit to a position.

Considering that I’m his slave, his property, I have no right to answer that question. Yet, on the other hand, he is my Master and if he asks something of me, I must answer, because as his slave I have no choice. It’s the paradox of my life. And, to be completely truthful about what I think, it sucks. It just majorly sucks.

“Valary, you going to answer my question?” Matt is frowning at me now.

I blink. “Sorry, was thinking...”

“About?” His voice deepens his expression even more serious than before.

I shake my head. Matt glowers at me. I quiver beneath his stern look. “Just how much this sucks.”

Matt folds his arms over his chest. “I see. Would you rather I didn’t own you.”

Pressing my hands between my knees, I give a tight nod of my head. “I don’t want to be owned by anyone, Master...I just wish...” I stop, feeling something choke my words, and realising that tears are trickling down my face. Matt stares at me then shakes his head at me.

“Answer my question, then I’ll leave you alone for a bit. I need to go see Syn and Zacky; they said they were going to get that guitar tech to come over to Zack’s place.”

I look up at him, wiping the back of my hand over my face. I can taste the salt of my tears; I try to ignore it, meeting Matt’s unyielding expression.

“Yes...if the rules didn’t exist...I’d...I’d consider it...” More than consider it, I’d want it so bad it would cut deep if he didn’t feel the same way. I swallow hard then complete the thought. “I’d consider being your girlfriend...but only...only if you felt the same way about me...” I look down once I finish talking, unable to handle looking at him as I wait for a response.

Silence settles around us, as I wait. It is heavy, weighing down on me. I have to admit, I am absolutely terrified of how Matt will respond. I know if he shuts me down, shuts me out, it’ll ruin me. I know I’ve only been with him a short while, running only into months. But, and I know this sounds corny, he completes me, and makes me feel human, not just an object that he owns.

The quiet stretches on and I wonder if he ever will say anything. I peek up at him. He isn’t even looking in my direction. He is staring out the window, lines furrowing his brow. Biting my lip, I think maybe I should repeat what I said. But then he turns to look at me. His face is clouded, eyes revealing nothing.

“Val.” He rubs at his face. “Why do you think I bought you?”

I tilt my head, thinking what exactly the relevance of that is. “Um...don’t know...”

Matt eyes me then laughs roughly. “No. Guess you wouldn’t.” He turns away again.

I lean forward waiting to see if he’ll go on. But he doesn’t. Matt walks over to the dresser and grabs his keys, wallet and phone, pocketing them. Obviously he’s not going to elaborate.

He braces his palms against the dresser and flexes his arms absently then looks at me again. “I’m going out now. Stay here and don’t answer the door.”

I nod slightly, lowering my eyes. I see his shoes moving across the floor as he walks out of the room, leaving me alone. I close my eyes and bite my bottom lip hard as I hear the front door opening, closing and then the sound of his bike starting up and pulling out of the driveway.

And then, he’s gone. And I realise I’ve never felt so alone in my life. And it hurts. It really, really hurts. Rolling onto my back on the bed, I grab a pillow, wrap my arms around it and, burying my face into its softness, allow myself to let go of my emotions and just cry.

Poor Val - I felt so badly for her in this update - you write her in such a vulnerable way that it just feels like you want to wrap her up and make sure that no one hurts her ever again. Bravo honey, I look forward to reading more xoxox